Oh, what a drama

Perhaps we are too far into 2024 for me to be wishing you a happy new year, so I shall just add what my Scots dad always says to me on the 1^st of January every year, ‘lang may yer lum reek.’ For the Sassenachs among you, ‘long may your chimney smoke.’

Of course, there is no smoke without fire and, for some, the period of goodwill to all men can be anything but. Family members who can’t stand each other get thrown together, someone drinks too much and says what they really think, and another is cross about the harrassed cook not finding room on the hob for sprouts. I hope your households were peaceful, but if it wasn’t the case, you have my sympathy.

As writers, we know that conflict in all its forms is the source of much inspiration in almost every genre. Even the cheesiest Christmas film with the happiest of endings has drama and conflict aplenty. Will the falsely accused Santa ever get out of jail for the crime he didn’t commit? Spoiler, he does. Will the beautiful young lady travelling home for the holidays in a freak snowstorm after a horrible break up with her philandering boyfriend ever find love again? Spoiler, she does.

I have written here before about my role as a workplace mediator. Unsurprisingly, every scenario I’m assigned involves a conflict of some sort. Drama has occurred. To prepare people for the difficult conversation ahead, I meet with them individually and invite them to tell me their stories. It’s interesting to see how they describe their own role in the situation. The story behind every mediation is unique, but it’s rare as hen’s teeth for someone to recount their own version of events and cast themselves as the villain. Everyone wants to claim the role of the innocent party for themselves and cast their colleague as the troublemaker. 

Stephen Karpman is a professor of psychiatry in the USA. One of his best-known theories is the ‘drama triangle.’ Karpman argues that in every drama you will always find three key players: victim, persecutor, and rescuer. You can find variations on these titles: goodie, baddie, hero, for example. 

In our stereotypical Christmas romance movie, the young lady travelling home for Christmas is the goodie, her cad of an ex-boyfriend, the baddie. Our hero is the dashing hunk who she doggedly fails to notice until it’s nearly time to go back to the big city and the life she hates (much to the despair of her desperate-for-a-wedding mother). Neat, isn’t it?

Real life isn’t as neat and many people, including ourselves, have never thought about the roles we play in our relationships so the model has much to offer in helping us understand situations, both real and fictional. Part of a successful mediation involves empowering people who cast themselves as victims to rescue themselves rather than waiting helplessly for a mythical James Bond figure to arrive in the nick of time to save them from the grasp of the evil megalomaniac. Mediators must resist the temptation to cast themselves as 007, but it’s easily done. After all, who doesn’t want to be the hero? When I see people in distress, it’s so easy to slip into my dinner jacket and say ‘I know where the secret tunnel is, follow me’, but I mustn't. I’m just passing through and I've misplaced my licence to kill. I can’t become part of the triangle. The victims and perpetrators in our three-part play need to change costumes and become rescuers to save the day. 

Mediators often speak of finishing the chapter with a ‘win win’ ending. If we end up with winners and losers, the story is primed for a sequel. We aren’t there to help one party win the day and, frankly, we don’t want the characters to endure more episodes of this sorry tale. To achieve this, we encourage our cast to step outside of their chosen or given roles and listen to each other afresh in a bid to develop some empathy, understanding, or forgiveness until they inch their way toward sharing the role of rescuer. During a difficult mediation, it’s music to my ears when I sense treasured positions are being dropped and the dialogue moves toward resolution.

As writers, we often refer to protagonists and antagonists. When you’re reviewing your work or planning your story, maybe you could use the drama triangle to help with your plot? Do you want a classic victim, persecutor, rescuer storyline or something more complex? Are your players going to remain in character throughout or move around the triangle? Will your victims become empowered or wait to be rescued by a hero? What new information will emerge that challenges the status quo of the cast and keeps the story moving forward?

If the drama triangle interests you, have a look online. There’s lots of information about it there that goes far beyond my simplistic take. How might the drama triangle help you understand the situations you are facing in your own life or the plots you are creating?

Whatever 2024 holds for you, I wish you every blessing, and may all your dramas be fictional. Spoiler, they probably won't be.