Looking Forward and Treasuring by Tracy Williamson

Overwhelming love; Pain; Joy; Confusion; Protectiveness; Fear. . .Maybe these were just some of the emotions filling Mary's heart and Joseph's too, in the days following their scramble to find shelter amidst the hordes of travellers descending upon Bethlehem and the shatteringly painful yet peace-covered moments of Jesus' birth. Even as her body screamed in protest and her mind had fought against the why of her surroundings, Mary was consumed by the tsunami of love and explosive joy that coursed through her every time she gazed at Him, this one she had carried and now borne.   The mystery consumed her, how the Divine had chosen her to bear His Son, but why here, in this place of dirt and lack?  Yet there were safe; they were sheltered and the very straw, even the very animals had become suffused with a growing glory.  Would it ever be just a stable again? Mary did not think so, for now the Divine had entered and even embraced its manger, the light of heaven would surely always turn this rough dwelling to gold.

Even after they'd gone . . . 

But where would they go?  What would they do?  Their families were split and jagged in their hostility.  Forever gone was the easy assumption that they would always be at home in the centre of their community.  Mary shuddered, knowing how close she'd come to being stoned, and that threat was still there.  Some would never choose to believe.  She would never be free of the whispers, the looks and silent accusations.,  And nor would Jesus.  

Sometimes as she lay uncomfortably on the straw, her body still so sore, longing for rest but pierced by anxious thoughts and knowing from the stiff outline of Joseph's brow that he too was awake, wondering and watching; the impossibility of the future, even tomorrow, lay so heavily upon her that she could barely breathe.  Where would they go? what would they do?  How could they raise this child of God when their family had ejected them from their safe place at its heart?  How would each day even unfold?

And yet, even as the thoughts tore the sleep away, Mary remembered.  Those shepherds that burst into the tiny space just hours after the birth,  A rush of noise, of clamorous, smelly men.  Mary had shrunk away at first, her mind screaming 'Danger! Danger!' She'd tried to scoop Jesus up and run but the men filled every space and there was no way out.  Mary cried in her heart for God to save them, to save His Son. And then, shielding Jesus as He lay in the manger, she'd been suffused with unbearable wonder as one by one those rough, noisy, stinking strangers had fallen to their knees, clamor ceased, gazing and worshipping.  In her befuddled mind she'd heard snippets of their words, quiet now and full of awe, 'angels',  'sky lit up with glory' 'baby in swaddling cloths in a manger.' 

So tangible was the shepherds joy and awe that it had flowed into Mary and Joseph's own hearts, stilling and exulting them. And now as Mary lay awake, she knew she needed to treasure that moment and the other moments she suddenly was certain would come.  There would be more signs from God, more moments of wonder, awe and sheer exultation.  She must look up from the dirt, the straw, the fear, the sorrow.  She must treasure the gold of the beauty and the love.  She would take every sign, every instance of God confirming, God protecting, God bringing the glory of heaven, even into the chaos of earth.  Yes, she would treasure them.  She would remember and so draw strength and live, yes live.  

These thoughts about Mary came to me as I reflected on all that she had been through in those momentous months leading up to Jesus' birth and then the actual birth and all the confusion and wonder that must have swirled around her.  But Luke says that Mary chose to treasure certain things in her heart.  That word challenged me.  How often do I live my life in a rush, frantic to meet a deadline or to fly with whatever emotion is consuming me?  But it is so important to take time to treasure every sign God gives us of His working and beauty in our lives.  In our writing, as we treasure Him and His Word and acts of love, our thoughts will be all the more suffused with Him, flowing into all that we write. 

Life for us may be seeming just as uncertain or scary as it did for Mary and Joseph.? Maybe you too are battling with the question, 'if God asked me to do this, why am I in this situation?' But there is hope.  The hope that comes from being carriers of Jesus.  Even in the midst of mess and uncertainty He brings His light of peace.  We may not know the way ahead, but He does.  And like Mary we can rest.  And treasure. And love.

Tracy Williamson is an author and speaking working with the Christian ministry MBM Trust.  Tracy has just released her 9th book, Unashamed, a powerful look at God's healing, transforming work in our lives.