Growing Up

Whoop whoop, I’m a wobbly, toddling one-year-old today. It’s the first anniversary of my life as an MTW blogger. Twelve months ago, I wrote my first tentative piece using an image of the old Welsh crooner, Tom Jones, under the title ‘What’s New Pussycat?’. 

The year has flashed past, and it got me thinking. Is there anything new happening in my life or does it feel much the same as ever? Take a minute to reflect on that question. If it’s the latter, is that okay or a frustration? What’s been happening to you and your writing in the past year? Maybe there’s cause to celebrate fresh shoots that have grown and blossomed, or you might feel your creativity is stuck or withering.

The social media algorithms clearly have me pegged as a man in need of help. Every time I log on, I’m bombarded with adverts for all manner of fixes for my potential problems. Not a day goes by when I’m not lured by tempting offers of writing retreats or invited to sign up for an intensive course of one-to-one author coaching. They make great promises, often backed up by gushing plaudits from satisfied customers. I’m not doubting the potential value of such an investment or the veracity of the claims. Many of them look amazing, but the costs vary enormously and, as the saying goes, ‘a fool and their money are easily parted.’

A few years ago, I took up an opportunity to train as a coach and had to deliver fifty hours of coaching to gain my qualification. I did the training sessions by phone, so I never saw the people I was working with. This faceless method wasn’t my preference, but some months later, I had a chance encounter with one of them who recognised my name when we sat next to each other at an event. It staggered me to discover that my amateur attempt at coaching had made a significant impact on her life. She had made big decisions and was moving on to new things with great excitement. Her husband came over to shake my hand and offer his effusive thanks. Frankly, I felt embarrassed. I hadn’t really done anything to help her. All I had done was to work through a well-established process that most coaches follow.

If, like me, you can’t justify the expense of a professional coach to help with your writing or other aspect of your life, why not apply the basics to yourself? Even better, ask a friend to take you through the questions. A key principle of coaching is to offer no advice or solutions. For that reason, your coach/friend needn’t have any knowledge of writing or whatever else you may discuss, indeed it can be an advantage. A coach is there to ask open questions and allow the respondent to think and answer in their own time, not to teach or mentor. Here’s the basic model:

These headline questions enable people to articulate their own thoughts and clarify their position. Supplementary follow-up questions allow more depth to be drawn out. Maybe goals are too vague or out of step with reality. If someone discovers that, they can define new goals for themselves. When exploring options, most coaches would also ask questions to identify the obstacles that stand in their way. Enabling someone to speak all these things out loud is a strangely simple but powerful experience. For many reasons, people often keep their life goals secret. Perhaps they fear failure or ridicule. Once people declare their goals, however tentatively, they are no longer secret, and they can allow themselves to imagine them coming to fruition. When people accompany their goals with a plan, they can make genuine progress even after years of being stuck.   

Now, here’s a plot twist for the fiction writers out there. Maybe it’s not you who’s stuck and in need of coaching, but the characters in your WIP? Why not put them through the GROW process? What is your character’s goal? What is their reality? What are their options for achieving their goal? What will they do? These questions might help you understand them better and unlock a fresh path for them to pursue. 

Happy growing! 

See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:19