Let's Hear it for the Bots by Wendy H. Jones

 


If you follow me on social media you can't have missed the fact that I have recently joined TikTok. This is a fabulous platform with #BookTok being my favourite thing. Do a video of myself? Sign me up, I'm your woman. Point a camera at me and I'll perform like Julia Roberts. (Other actresses are available). I'm having a whale of a time and acting my little heart out trying to make people laugh. The #BookTok hashtag is, funnily enough, about books and I can talk about books all day. However, there is one downside to the platform - the same one you get on any social media platform. Bots and fake accounts. I'm in a Facebook group about TikTok and some of the threads about these bots have had me screaming with laughter. So, I thought I would turn my hand to a spot of poetry and pay homage to the bots.


You really should join TikTok,

It's popular you see,

Then you start to play a game

Called who will follow me.


First you get your best friends,

Who've joined to follow you, 

Then they start to trickle in

The odd real one or two.


You spend time watching videos,

And are careful where you look,

You comment and you like them,

So as not to seem a kook.


Avoiding all the strange accounts,

You follow loads a day,

Hoping that in the process,

some followers come your way.


But no matter how you do it,

The bots start to appear,

straight out of the woodwork,

They're following you here.


First off are the Princes,

saying you are their honey,

But you can't help thinking,

What they're after is your money.


Then there are the odd ones,

who are after other things,

what they are I won't say here,

but think removing g and strings.


They're followed by the women,

wanting to make videos together,

I'm not sure they're talking books here,

and they're not talking about a blether.


And what about the bitcoin lords,

Who want to help you out,

A charity for authors?

of that I have my doubts.


But saying all that, I still believe,

The platform's loads of fun,

I've made lots of friends and followers,

and value every one.


So, let's hear it for the bots,

Who keep us all in stitches,

If the daft bats only knew,

We're authors with no riches.


I hope I haven't put you off TikTok as it really is loads of fun. If you don't follow the bots back they can't send you private messages. You'll get the odd strange comment on your posts but report them to TikTok and they are removed immediately. Most followers are supportive and super friendly and I've met so many new people some of whom I would already call friends. I just thought it would be a bit of fun to pay homage to the bots. My TikTok handle if you're on there or thinking of joining is @wendyhjonesauthor. If you follow me, I will follow you back. Put your TikTok handle in the comments and you never know you might get some new followers. Also, if you enjoyed my ditty let me know. I'm not a poet in any shape or form. 

My final point, just be careful. And there is a TikTok handle for Christian books and a lot of TikTokers who are Christian authors from around the world. Have fun out there. 


About the Author

Wendy H Jones is the Amazon #1 international best-selling author of the award winning DI Shona McKenzie Mysteries. Her Young Adult Mystery, The Dagger’s Curse was a finalist in the Woman Alive Readers' Choice Award. She is also The President of the Scottish Association of Writers, an international public speaker, and runs conferences and workshops on writing, motivation and marketing. Wendy is the founder of Crime at the Castle, Scotland’s newest Crime Festival. She is the editor of a Lent Book, published by the Association of Christian Writers and also the editor of the Christmas Anthology from the same publisher. Her first children's book, Bertie the Buffalo, was released in December 2018. Motivation Matters: Revolutionise Your Writing One Creative Step at a Time, was released in May 2019. The Power of Why: Why 23 Women Took the Leap to Start Their Own Business was released on 29th June, 2020. Marketing Matters: Sell More Books was released on 31st July 2020. Bertie Goes to the Worldwide Games will be released on 5th May, 202,  and the third book in the Fergus and Flora Mysteries will be published in 2021. Her new author membership Authorpreneur Accelerator Academy launched in January 2021. Creativity Matters: Find Your Passion for Writing the third book in her Writing Matters Series was published in September 2021. Wendy's latest release is Killer's Curse, the seventh book in the DI Shona McKenzie Mysteries


Comments

  1. Superb! That just about sums it up. Having recently joined TikTok myself (@ruthleighwrites) I too have had many applications for my hand and compliments on my radiant beauty. So many so I wrote a blog about them! It is great fun on there, but you soon learn to swerve the bots

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  2. My goodness, it's bad enough on Twitter with so many ex-army Trump supporting men with the same short-cut grey hair and florid complexions who tell me they're honest and want someone to love. I think I block one a day at least. I don't even know if they're real people or bots with fake pictures. They're a pain, whichever.

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  3. Thanks for this, Wendy, and I enjoyed your little ditty. I don't know if they're bots but I've had a few comments on my beauty too and I just ignore them to be honest!

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  4. I'm having a bit of fun on there, but as yet, not one person or bot has referred to me as beautiful.

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  5. Brilliant, just brilliant. I've gone and joined up but not been brave enough to video myself yet. I'll follow you when I do.

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  6. Haha. Really funny and clever. Well done! I was hearing on the BBC this evening that Waterstones are actually starting a 'Book Tok Recommended' section. You're ahead of the curve, as ever, Wendy!

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  7. As soon as I completely retire, I'll join up. There is so much for us christian writers to do that it is becoming overwhelming: christian writing groups, social media, church meetings/groups etc.
    But as you say, this one is fun - I have half of my eye and heart in tik tok and will soon join you! Thanks Wendy!!

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  8. Great poem, Wendy but I don't think I'll be joining TikTok anytime soon. I have enough time managing the social media I do have, which to be honest, doesn't work that well for me.

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  9. That's hilarious and so true! I'm catherinegreenall1 on TikTok

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  10. Ha this is brilliant Wendy! I haven't joined yet but I must take the plunge at some point.

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  11. Excuse me, but what exactly is a bot. I have to know as I want to use the word in conversation, if only to demonstrate that my mind is not as old as my face!

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  12. Oh this is very funny and made me snort out loud as I read it! Well done for persevering with Tik Tok Wendy!

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