Easter - Putting Words to our Inner by Tracy Williamson

Sometimes as I read through the Gospel accounts of the Easter story I wonder what happened inside the disciples hearts as they heard Jesus' oblique references to his approaching arrest, torture and death?  

Noise

Pain

Running and tearing

Sinking, falling, roaring

How could God be about to die?

Shaking

Hurricaning

Paralysing

Numbing

How could God be about to die?

They'd seen dead, sightless eyes flashing with light and wonder, corpses walking from their tombs, shattered, shrivelled limbs leaping and dancing. loaves of bread multiplying, a familiar lake becoming a dance floor.

Glory exploding

Light unravelling

Heaven guffawing

Joy birthing

How could their God be about to die?

What do we do with those questions and deeply disturbing emotions when they rear their heads? Or when laughter and wonder bubble up and we don't know why? When we feel weak with love or hoarse with unshed tears?

The Psalmist processed their emotions and confusions by wrapping them up in words. 'My God , my God why have you forsaken me?' 'God will you be angry with us forever?', 'Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.'  As they learnt to make time, time to sit, to listen to feel and to explore, they discovered the power of words to unlock and give voice to their inner.  

Their inner?

Their inner. Their buried griefs, laughters, longings, confusions, disturbance, anger, mud, rock, spikes, bubbling brooks, sunshine, storm clouds . . .

The words became pictures, channels, jail doors bursting open; light flooding in; the Word becoming flesh inside their souls. For once an inner earthquake has words wrapped round it, it becomes something that can be truly felt, lived, experienced, understood and released to God.  

And once that happens I become that much more alive for those words give me being, shape, wings and  breath and I can soar and discover and sing and weep.

How can God be about to die?

Gradually those words give me understanding beyond words; knowing beyond knowing; 

Love slips in through their doorway; 

How can God be about to die?

Love. 

Love feeling, love swirling; love hovering, love birthing; love seeing; love speaking; love healing; love restoring, love laughing; love rejoicing; love knowing; love forgiving; love suffering; love dying

For me. 

Tracy Williamson Is an author and speaker working together with blind singer/songwriter Marilyn Baker for MBM Trust, an itinerant (in normal times) music and teaching ministry.  www.mbm-ministries.org   Tracy who is deaf shares a home with Marilyn and Goldie, Tracy's Hearing dog, in Kent.  Tracy has written several books and loves trying to write more creatively.  Tracy also loves chocolate, wine, garlic and creamy puddings but not altogether!