SECOND TIME AROUND

I still can’t quite believe it, but I now have two novels published. Never in a million years would I have imagined this to be a reality if you had asked me, even three years ago. Yet here I am, and I am so, so grateful. What an amazing adventure it has been and I wouldn’t change it.

However I wanted to use this post to reflect on how different an experience getting The Pilgrim published has been. How much more difficult to The Healing, in many ways. So much so that the morning after my wonderful online book launch I felt so emotionally wrung out that I wrote a very raw and revealing blog post. I was going to share that post on this blog, but after prayerful consideration decided it would not be wise to do so. On reflection, and given all the encouragements I have received since the book came out, I think I can write about the experience with a much more balanced viewpoint. My hope is that my realness resonates with others but that it also encourages. We love writing, but writing isn’t always easy. We may be writers but we are also human beings!

Warning: this post contains some moments of painful honesty.

 SO WHAT MADE IT DIFFERENT THE SECOND TIME AROUND?

The writing process: When I began to write my first book in the lockdown summer of 2020, the words came easily and the publishing process, although a steep learning curve, was so much fun. The second book was much harder to write, it felt like a battle almost from the beginning. I found myself constrained by the expectation to produce a second book comparable to the first. To not let myself, my readers, my publishers down. Indeed in writing a prequel, to not let my characters down either. I was beset with self- doubt and self-criticism. Writing and rewriting, editing and re-editing took joy out of the writing. I had to fight through blocks in the writing process and found myself regularly exhausted with it at all. And yet it got finished, by the grace of God, and when polished by my wonderful publishing team, who were as amazing as ever, became a thing of worth, beneath a stunning cover.

 

Marketing: I was blithely ignorant of the challenge of marketing when The Healing came out. This time around I was all too aware that the onus would be on me to get my book noticed and it definitely took some of the excitement out of the launch of The Pilgrim. The self-doubt I had experienced in the writing stage was still nagging away at me, and financial concerns did not help. The need to get copies sold and the desire to avoid self-promotion vied with each other. I tried a Prize Draw with less success than I’d hoped for. I organised the Blog Tour and was so grateful for the generous support of so many. I made the book visible on Social Media – so much so that I got fed up of seeing it, as I’m sure many of my followers did. The fear of ‘over-exposing’ myself was finally realised when I had a post removed from a Facebook group. It was enough to make me want to crawl and hide in a corner.

 

Life: I am more than a writer. I am also a wife, mother, grandmother, sister and daughter. We have been going through a pretty torrid time as a family, dealing with issues that are far more important than publishing a book. My health has suffered, and the emotional stress has filtered through into every area of our lives. There were times when I just did not have the capacity to get excited about my book launching, and there were times when I faked it. I found myself feeling incredibly emotionally vulnerable and more likely to focus on the negatives, over-reacting to less than perfect reviews, and seeking out constant reassurances. Add to the mix the monstrous thing that is the menopause… well no surprise that I shed a lot of tears this time around.

 The reality is that it feels as if this second book has cost me, and not just financially. Maybe it had to be a battle to get it out, for purposes only God knows. I just know that the day after it was published, along with the exhaustion, I felt sheer relief. The joy has come since, as I hear from people who have been blessed by reading my words, and read some genuinely lovely reviews.

 

SO WHY THIS POST?

There has been a move towards more openness and honesty in this blog lately, and I for one am hugely grateful for that. I definitely don’t want these words to put you off if you are still working towards the goal of getting published. Keep dreaming and keep writing -  everybody’s story is different! Being published is amazing, and both an honour and a privilege. 

Nor did I write this looking for reassurances or sympathy – even though I know how good this community is at encouraging one another. What I do hope to do is encourage realness, maybe help shatter misconceptions, and connect with others who might have experienced similar things.

The truth is that being a published author isn’t all rave reviews and radio interviews. Those things are great, don’t get me wrong. But beneath all the flashy Facebook posts hides an ordinary, flawed, vulnerable, self-doubting human being.

I worry whether my books will sell and get hugely discouraged when no royalties are due. I love that my family and friends buy copies from me but where are all the strangers pulled in by my exhausting marketing efforts? Sometimes I even wonder if it has all been worth all the time, energy and effort I have poured into it. And then a simple message of encouragement comes to remind me that it most definitely is.

Does any of this resonate with you I wonder?

After The Pilgrim was published I questioned whether I should continue to write at all. Why put myself through all this angst again? It might be easier to just put it down and be content with what I have achieved to date. But then in the last few days I have begun to hear God’s whisper, through the wisdom of friends and in the quietness of my prayer space. I think that He wants me to keep writing. It is His gift to me, it is something I CAN do amidst all the things that my physical limitations mean I can’t do. So then I must lean into Him again. His promises stand. He will be my strength, He will be my provider, He will be my chief champion, He will be my inspiration, and He will use my written and published words for His glory. I have to choose to believe that. It is all for Him after all.

Thank you for reading!

 

Joy Margetts writes Christian Historical Fiction. Her debut novel 'The Healing' was published in March 2021, and her second ‘The Pilgrim’ in July 2022. She makes her home in beautiful North Wales and takes her inspiration from its rich spiritual history and stunning landscapes. She is also wife, mother and grandmother and a lover of the Word of God. Her personal blog and more information about her books can be found here www.joymargetts.com