Writing in the In Between - by Liz Carter

When I saw that my More Than Writers post this month was scheduled for Holy Saturday, I was disappointed for a moment because I wanted the Sunday slot. I wanted to write about the light breaking through, about the power and the glory. I wanted to write the celebration and enjoy the feast.

But then I thought a little more about Holy Saturday, and when I did I was glad of this slot after all. Because that day represents how we all live in the in-between of life: the now and the not yet, the despair and the hope, the liminal space of waiting, with glimpses of what is to come and yet the daily drag of what our reality is, too. 

I often wonder how Mary the mother of Jesus felt on that Holy Saturday. She didn't have the luxury of the hope that we have, the knowledge of the third day that sustains us and compels us forwards. She didn't know what was going to happen next. All she knew was that her son had died in the most horrendous way, and he wasn't supposed to. Where could hope be now for Mary - how could she go on? I imagine her sitting there near the garden tomb, with the soldiers eyeing her aggressively, sorrow in the tear-tracks on her face and the trembling of her hands. Why did this happen? she is thinking. How could this be true?

I wonder if she had any sense of the magnitude of the events. I wonder if she caught the edges of hope as she sat there, waiting through that torturous day. I wonder if she looked at the grave and dared to wrap up her misery in tendrils of hope. I hope she did, I hope God wrapped her up as she waited in her in-between.

What about us, as writers, then?

It seems to me that writing so often lives in the in-between, too.  The in-between of waiting - for publishing contracts, for agents to reply, for people to read our books, for reviews, for inspiration, for courage. So much of the literary life is a life of waiting, isn't it? So much of the time we spend with our writing is an in-between kind of time. But we're not just waiting for things to happen with our work. It's more than that. More that we are waiting for the joy of Sunday, while living in the raggedness of Saturday, and that raggedness casts tendrils throughout all of our lives - writing and all.

So much of our writing reflects that liminal place, where we weave glimpses of hope into our words, but write reality and time's scars into our work, too. I'm thinking about Katherine Blessan's new book, Home Truths with Lady Grey (see my review here), which somehow captures that in-between feel, with characters who are flawed and messy, yet who cling to hope within the shattered parts of their lives. I'm thinking about Issy Smugge, who is a little bit broken, but she keeps glimpsing the more she can be and the hope on the horizon. I'm thinking of Sue Russell's Janet Yates in her book The Wounds of Time, whose hard shell is broken down as she enters into unexpected transformation. I'm thinking of all of you ACW authors who pour so much of yourselves into your writing, because you have a calling on you that you must follow, even when the in-between is too crushing, too tiring, too full of all those rejections.

As Christian writers we are in a unique position to capture both the uncertainty and ambiguity of the in-between, and the glorious hope we know is coming. It's a hope that's more than a faraway wish, it's a hope grounded in reality and lived in experience. When we write, we can't help but spill over with it, even when we're stuck in the in-between and it all seems like a slog. And so our words are power-packed with good stuff, stuff that will speak to people who are struggling and people who have not yet met Christ. I've seen this kind of writing over and over from ACW authors, from non-fiction through to poetry through to fiction. It doesn't have to be specifically Christian to blaze with this hope - from Maressa Mortimer's dystopian thrillers which give a glance of the gospel story in terrifying settings, to Dawn James' Song of the Overworld which puts the God-story right at the centre without saying anything explicitly about the Christian faith.

We are hope-carriers, and today, even as we wait in our own in-betweens, let's take courage. Let's write hope when there seems to be none. Let's catch the hope from one another and spread it near and far. Let's make the in-between a place of refreshing, as it says in Psalm 84: 5-7:

Blessed are those whose strength is in you,
whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.
As they pass through the Valley of Baka,
they make it a place of springs;
the autumn rains also cover it with pools.
They go from strength to strength,
till each appears before God in Zion.

Finally, I leave you with a poem from my own in-between. Do join in the conversation and tell us about your in-between writing experiences, and encourage one another on this journey.

SATURDAY

Here I sit in the in-between

in the ambiguous vacuum of silence

my fear hangs heavy

my uncertainty a crushing weight

sealed into the waiting

into the unknown.

I sit with lament and 

I sit with my tears.

Hope is a ghost, 

an ethereal being

lingering on the edges of my vision.

Hope that was giant

is torn to shreds

by the side of a tomb

and a Saviour who is dead.

 

I must bide a while 

in this desolate wasteland,

an in-between of colossal extremes

joy unseen in a joyless scene.

Yet in this desert

a tang of expectancy

soars through my soul

and I abide in the paradox,

arid wilderness

drenched in anticipation’s shivered thrill.

Unseen extremes

In my in-between.

Liz Carter is an author, poet and editor from Shropshire. She loves to write about the difficult and painful times in life, and how we can find gold in the mess. Her books Catching Contentment and Treasure in Dark Places are available in online bookstores. You can find her at www.greatadventure.carterclan.me.uk and she’s signed a contract for her next book with The Good Book Company, coming 2023. She's just brought out a new prayer journal which is filled with verses and poetry about creation, and now works freelance to proofread, format and design books.