Scent of Water - writing from the reality of our pain

When we are in pain, the least thing we want is clichés.  There is something in our deepest inner selves that longs for authenticity and empathy; to know that someone, even God, is walking that walk with me; that I am not alone.  Somehow then, I can find hope.

I have found such hope, authenticity and empathy in Penelope Swithinbank's new devotional, 'Scent of Water; Words of Comfort in Times of Grief;' soon to be published by Malcolm Down Publishing on the 2nd July. This evocative title is taken from Job 14:7-9 'There is hope for a tree when it is cut down. Merely a scent of water will make it sprout.' (GWT)

I have read many devotionals and love them as an aid to my worship and quiet times. But this particular one has moved me profoundly as it is so real. I was caught immediately by the title and verse on the opening pages. I wasn't familiar with the verse and it really made me pause, think and feel.  It is a devastating thing for a tree to be cut down before its time.  It seems like the end of something majestic and glorious, inherently entwining praise and wonder. Cutting that tree is the end of all that glory and yet this verse shows that something as nebulous as the scent of water will restore life and cause new shoots to sprout.  There will be renewal and re growth.  There is hope even in the midst of great pain and devastating loss.

And so with the far greater tragedy of a human life cut short. . .

This is the profoundly timely message that has wrapped itself around my heart as I've read through the pages of Penelope's life giving devotional. Interspersed with hauntingly powerful pictures the book is written in the form of 25 weeks of individual daily readings, plus some extra weeks focussing on times like special anniversaries.  All the readings explore some of the labyrinth of agony, despair, tears, anger and frozenness of the bereavement journey yet hand in hand are the glimpses of God's ongoing love, care and overflowing compassion.

What has so deeply touched me is |just how real this book is.  Penelope describes herself as hanging on by one finger nail; numb, angry, wanting to hide; weeping, dead inside....and yet, discovering glimpses from God's Word that He is carrying her, feeling her pain, weeping her tears....

Here's a little sample: 

'When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.

Psalm 94:18 (NIV)

Some days it feels as though my feet are slipping away underneath

me and then I just want to stay in bed all day, wrapping the duvet

about my ears, refusing to stand and face the reality of what has

happened. And how disappointed I am that ___ has gone.

And yet – your love, O Lord, can and will support me. If I allow

myself to feel your love.

Please can I sense your arms of love holding me up today? Feel your

support? . . .(Scent of Water (c) Penelope Swithinbank)

Penelope shares from the most broken place imaginable having seen her beloved mother's life destroyed in one terrible moment when she is swept under an out of control car. Her death plunges Penelope into heartbreak and black depression. She is overwhelmingly familiar with the agony of bereavement.  I found her honesty immensely life giving. Yet it has also impacted that when we entrust our  brokenness into God's hands and invite Him to walk alongside us in whatever we are dealing with,  the most awesome power is released to touch the lives of those who are on a similar road.  God truly does bring 'beauty instead of ashes' and it is when someone like Penelope so courageously opens up her own 'ashes' for all to see, that God's secret beautiful work is conceived.  

I feel humbled by this book.  It is a most precious diamond of understanding and compassion.  It is a book you can dip into when you haven't got the energy or heart to read more than a few words at a time.  You suddenly know you're not alone, that someone is with you who understands, and that means that God is with you too.  You will find your senses coming alive to the whisper of God's presence and the heart beat of His comfort.  

I haven't read all of 'Scent of Water' yet.  I want to explore it and think about it and live it; to put it down and rest from it so as to have time to reflect.  I want to give my own wounds time to 'scent the water' and feel again the message of hope.  

I will go back and back and as I drink it in I will pass it on to those who I know will be comforted. 

I will also take up my own pen and write.  I haven't known unimaginable sudden loss like Penelope, but I too have wounds.  If I honestly offer them up to God, can they too be transformed into the beauty of empathy, fellowship and hope to someone in great need?  

Thank you Penelope for giving yourself so richly, honestly and hopefully.  May many scent the water you have brought to them through this amazing work.

Tracy Williamson is an author and speaker working together with blind singer/songwriter Marilyn Baker for the music and teaching ministry MBM Trust www.mbm-ministries.org