Chocolate-deficit syndrome, and other problems writers face
Nowadays, we’re always being reminded how important it is to look after ourselves. Magazine editors commission articles entitled The fitness routine you’ve been looking for* and Eat yourself healthy in seven days, while social media gurus lure us in with the promise of the perfect lifestyle.
So, with that in mind, below is a guide to some of the
health issues a writer may face.
Error-induced hysteria: an episode of uncontrollable wailing
when you realise you’ve made a typo exactly three seconds after you hit the “submit”
button. (Sometimes flippantly know as I-can’t-believe-I-missed-that-itis.)
Hypo-caffeination: a zombie-like state resulting from not
consuming sufficient coffee before starting work.
Hyper-cleaning disease: the sudden urge to clean the house
when you have a deadline looming.
Character-driven insomnia: a lack of sleep due to arguing
every night with your protagonist into the wee small hours. This not
infrequently leads to …
Separation anxiety: an overwhelming sense of isolation when your
characters refuse to speak to you at all.
Chocolate-deficit syndrome: an inability to function
properly due to your significant other/children/boiler repair man eating all
the chocolate biscuits in the house.
Red pen melancholia: the feeling of despair when your editor
asks you to cut another 1000 words from your already pared-to-the-bone
manuscript.
Finally, try not to worry – and please look after
yourselves.
*This is surprising, as I have never knowingly looked for a
fitness routine.
**Delete as appropriate.
Fiona Lloyd is a member of the Association of Christian Writers and writes regularly for Together magazine. Her first novel, The Diary of a (trying to be holy) Mum, was published by Instant Apostle in 2018. Fiona also works for Christians Against Poverty.
Twitter: @FionaJLloyd &
@FionaLloyd16
Brilliantly funny…very laugh-out-loud…proper wisdom 🤣
ReplyDeleteI'll add another couple... plot insomnia - where your book won't let you sleep until its finished in your head. And reality attention deficiency - where your family talks to you but you are in Medieval Wales temporarily. Great blog that made me smile.Thanks Fiona!
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, humorous and so relatable for many of these.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Fiona. Speaks for us all!
ReplyDeleteLovely post, Fiona! Thanks. Love your humour. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteLove that Fiona and suffer from most of your list!
ReplyDeleteReally? You have a "significant boiler repair man"??? But thanks nonetheless for the empathetic insights.
ReplyDelete