Treasure in the mundane - by Eileen Padmore

In the final weeks of our course on personal spiritual development, we were encouraged to attempt a 'retreat in daily life'.  Week six guided us to pray for the grace, 'that I may recognise him in all aspects of my life'.

'Great', thought I – in ignorance.  My mind went into sensory overdrive. Yes!  I would take time out, surrounded by butterfly hopping sun drenched flowers, aromatic herbs, chattering birds, trickling streams ..... somewhere in the fabulous Yorkshire Dales ........ steaming mug of fresh coffee in hand ......

That was before I actually read the four set Bible passages and reflected on the dramatic newspaper headlines those ancient events and teachings might generate today:

'Toe-Rag tax collector pays back huge dividends.'

'Meal for one feeds 5,000.'

'Ten lepers claim magic cure.'

'Crank preacher says sell all now and gamble on the hereafter.'

Not exactly accurate reporting, but the news got distorted even then.  And Jesus was always in the headlines!  Wherever he went, the established order got messed up, driving priests and politicians into a frenzy.

So what on earth does it mean to recognise him in all aspects of my life?  And even if that is remotely achievable, will it provoke the same antagonisms?  I don't want my life turned upside down.

I turned to my Ignatian 'Pray as you go' app for enlightenment.  Sung in Latin, the Taize chant soothed – but in translation, it shredded my comfort again.

'Jesus Christ, inner light, do not let my darkness speak to me,
Jesus Christ, inner light, let me welcome your love.'

Inner darkness?  Me?  Maybe .......  Did I sometimes let it overcome the light?  You know the sort of thing: the voice that says:  'why bother,?  'you don't count',  'it won't make any difference',  'leave it to others', 'you'll fail anyway'.  Ignatius calls it 'desolation' which is about direction of travel, away from God.

Could it be that sometimes I prefer the darkness?  Does it feel safer?  Do I listen to that voice when it comes to writing?  'There are others much better than you',  'wait for inspiration', 'Do it for enjoyment, as a hobby – that way it's much easier'.

How about the opposite then?  Welcoming the inner light of God's love in 'consolation'.  Might this mean turning from 'safety' towards God – to discern his presence and listen to his voice when you know there is something to write about – even if it stirs things up.

The warm, fluffy feeling is good when it comes, but may give the lie to a state of 'desolation'.  'Consolation' can be joyful, but might also be painful.  Jesus warned us about trouble in this world.

'That I may recognise him in all aspects of my life'.  Hmmm ...... definitely a work in progress.





Eileen Padmore has retired from a life spent in health care and academia, working in Sierra Leone, Zambia, Eire and Northern Ireland (in the troubles) as well as inner city Birmingham and Leeds.  She has had articles published in Woman Alive, Christian Writer and contributed to the popular ACW Lent Book.  Married for several decades to a professional musician, the family includes a feisty springer spaniel and a large African tortoise.