This writer's cunning foxes, by Deborah Jenkins
The part I'm most drawn to at the moment is the first section, Living in the Present.
Nouwen writes passionately about the newness of each day, hour, even minute, talking of approaching each moment as if it's full of possibility. He speaks of choices, reminding us that however hard the circumstances, there are always opportunities to choose joy. We must ignore the 'cunning foxes on our shoulders' and send them back to their foxholes. Instead, we should open our minds and hearts to the Master's Voice showing us how to discover new life 'hidden in the moment waiting eagerly to be born.'.
Nouwen writes of the challenge of living in the present while the past and the future continually harass us. Memories fill us with guilt, and regret ('Oughts - You ought to have done this. You should have said that) The future is full of worry ('What ifs - What if I lose my job? What if my father dies?) We are held so firmly in the grip of the Oughts and What ifs that we become blind to the flowers in the garden, deaf to the kindness of friends.
These themes are particularly apposite for writers, methinks. The Oughts and What Ifs can paralyse us stopping us from enjoying the pace of the journey we're now on. Of course our cunning foxes will change over time, but here are some of my current ones: -
- You ought to have been better planned and written more when you were younger. You'd have had more energy and creativity
- You shouldn't have wasted your time in jobs where you were unhappy. You've come to serious writing too late
- Your covering letters for earlier novels were so embarrassing! No wonder no one took you on
- What if your book is a complete failure? You will have put in all that time for nothing
- What if your book goes down well and you get so excited you have a stroke and don't get to enjoy it? (often following a good review)
- Having committed yourself to something new, what if it doesn't work out? Perhaps you're a one-trick pony. You're going to run out of words and look stupid...
It takes courage to put these down on paper (as it were) but I take the risk because I suspect many of us have similar voices whispering fear and failure into our writing. Yet while they're simmering away occasionally at the back of my mind, I'm also aware of those moments waiting eagerly to be born: -
- On-going gratitude for the opportunity to be published traditionally with a wonderful publisher
- Good pre-publication reviews
- Writing friends who constantly support and encourage me
- Family who believe in me and champion my calling as a writer
- Praise for a God who had a plan for my writing and, after all these years, has given me the opportunity for a wider audience
- A handful of readers who, realising their need for community, won't rule out finding it at their local church
This verse has followed me all through my writing life. I have no idea why: -
'Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion.' Psalm 84:5-7
It's not a particularly well known verse but it keeps popping up again and again. Another moment waiting eagerly to be born, perhaps...
What are your cunning foxes and how does God remind you of His goodness in order to banish them? I'd love it if you would share them in the comments below 😊
Her novel, Braver, will be published on 30 June 2022 by Fairlight Books. You can read more about it, and pre-order via the publisher here or on Amazon. You can read a review and author interview about Braver here
Deborah wonders aloud about the crazy, inspiring and inappropriate on her blog stillwonderinghere.net
Pre publication reviews on Waterstones
Points well made, and experiences many of us share - but you had me chuckling at the thought of getting so excited that apoplexy was the result! Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
ReplyDeleteI think it's highly unlikely for lots of reasons! Glad it made you chuckle though :)
DeleteThat's a super analogy and one to remember: the cunning foxes. I think my fox is called Self-doubt and it visits regularly. On a fox-related issue, do you know the poem The Thought Fox by Ted Hughes? Your blog post reminded me - it's a poem in which he compares the approach of a fox to the process of writing. I'm reading it with new eyes as I taught it years ago before I even started writing and it didn't mean half so much! https://poetryarchive.org/poem/thought-fox/
ReplyDeleteYour cunning fox needs to go back in his hole NOW! As long as he doesn't come up again and visit me... I have never read that poem and yes, how strange, the links with this piece! I particularly love the first and last verses. Thank you.
DeleteGreat blog. I'm so bad at the 'oughts' and a particular expert at the 'what if's'. It's good to be reminded to be present in the present and appreciate each moment. Needed that today. Thank you. My cunning fox is invariably 'why am I even doing this?'(writing and publishing fiction books into a ressitant Christian market) and 'I'm wasting my time and should be doing something else more profitable'. God then reminds me, usually via an email or message, how much my writing is blessing people. Not every day... but enough to spur me on.
ReplyDeleteIt's so lovely when that happens isn't it?? Makes it all worthwhile. Thank you for sharing your cunning fox. x
DeleteThis is such a powerful piece, Deborah. It really made me think. I've never read Nouwen although I know lots about him, neither have I come across that Psalm. So many foxes! "No-one's going to like what you write." "Everyone's doing it better than you." "What if you fail completely at it?" And so many more. I will try to remember this piece when I fall prey to those cunning little foxes xx
ReplyDeleteNouwen's writing certainly helps me in such circumstances. You are a great writer. Don't let any no-good foxes tell you otherwise! (Apologies to any fox-loving readers. I actually do quite like foxes most of the time!)
DeleteThank you! I am watching out for foxes today
DeleteThanks for giving us lots to think about.
ReplyDeleteMy memory of the fox being a cunning animal goes all the way , years back when I was 8 years old and reading Janet and John Book 3. There is the story of Chiken Licken and how the fox offered to sort out a problem but it was all deceit!! May God help us all to keep away all foxes in their attempts to deceive us and lead us away from enjoying the promises of God , inspite of our circumstances.Amen! Thanks for this beautiful post. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI remember our teacher reading that to us at primary school
DeleteFor me it was Fantastic Mr Fox that I remember been read to me. Outside which made it all the more special. Still one of my favourite Roald Dahl books.
DeleteCould you bring your Henri Nouwen book to the WYWIG weekend, Deborah? I'd love to have a look at it, think I may get it for myself. I think my little fox appears on my shoulder even as I write 'this is drivel. You've written far better stuff then this.' and then 'Do you realise how much time and hard work it will take to write a novel? All the research. You haven't got it in you.' It' What really helps me is having friends and fellow writers who 'love' Mother and want, sometimes urge me to keep writing about her, so that's what keeps the flame alive. Can't wait to see you at the weekend!
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