How to love a writer, by Deborah Jenkins

This post is for the significant other(s) in your life and is best read loudly while they're washing up/asleep/filled with gratitude after you've finished some loathsome task e.g. cleaning the car. It might also work when you've just announced recent earnings from an article/book/premium bond thereby contributing to the family income.

Description
The writer is one of the most colourful and unpredictable members of the species known as homo sapiens. A direct translation of the Latin homo sapiens is 'wise man' and the translator no doubt had the writer in mind when this was first recorded in English. Obviously, there are many writers who are women, particularly in the Christian Writing World, so some could argue that here, wise woman would be more appropriate. But wise person no doubt covers us all.

Sensitive and thoughtful, the writer is usually a gentle, compassionate soul but do not be fooled! Writers can be capricious and moody, prone to sudden outbursts and nervous episodes if separated from their natural habitat (the writing desk) for too long.
The adult of the species is distinguished from the child by its slightly glazed look and distracted air. Some would say writers do not make the best parents but in fact this is rarely true. Despite their tendency to rehearse particularly good similes instead of cooking/keeping clean/noticing where they've parked the car, their children benefit from other things. These include surprises (both good and bad), wonderful story telling and effective role models in the area of problem solving and handling rejection bravely. Or not.

Habitat
Writers can be both city and country dwellers. They enjoy the stimulus of culture and the arts and can often be found in theatres or gawping in art galleries and libraries, their heads on one side. However, nature can be a strong stimulus for their writing so if they live far from fields, hills and the glint of water, they make it a priority to head off to these places on things called writers retreats. These are times for uninterrupted writing with other writers (collective noun: quill?) often in beautiful areas like Yorkshire or the Lake District. They can also take place in big, old houses where excellent food and antique furniture (much loved by the writing community) make up for bad pillows and dodgy plumbing. A local pub - within walking distance - is also a great pull for the writer.

Food and drink
Wine, local ale, gin, chocolate, shortbread and cheesecake. But mainly cheesecake (Join the Association of Christian Writers Facebook page for details) They also love beautifully covered books and journals for note taking (and would eat them if they could).

Productivity
This varies a lot and can be influenced by things like the weather. Writers particularly enjoy the winter where they feel less guilty for holing up by their writing desks, wrapped in those soft throws you can get from John Lewis (or Primark). They can also be affected by the amount of encouragement they receive to keep going when they get to the part in their books when they can't stop thinking, Nobody in the whole wide world is going to read this sh-ambolic rubbish! This is where they really need other writers. See Lucy Rycroft's excellent post on encouragement here. Productivity can also be reduced by what writers call life's annoying trifles. These include cleaning, going to work, doing the school run and hosting social events which seem a good idea at the time but subsequently involve lots of preparation, causing stress at long term separation from their place of peace (see above: Habitat - the writing desk).

How to love a writer
In view of the above, here are my top ten ways to love a writer. Writers need a lot of love because they are constantly emptying their emotional tanks into their writing.

• ask them to read something they've written and listen with rapt attention
• offer to do a loathsome task so they can spend the time writing
• photocopy and frame their first royalty check and point it out to visitors
• help them to find/build/move their writing desk to its own quiet space (preferably with a view and not too far from the kettle) They spend a lot of time there.
• laugh indulgently when they confess to forgetting some important task because they've been wrapped up in their writing. On no account, tell them off. (They feel bad enough about it already)
• buy them a stylish writing journal
• tell someone, in front of your writer, how proud you are
• pay for them to go on/give them money towards, a writing retreat
• buy them a lovely soft comfort blanket (see above)
• hide a surprise bar of chocolate (or a whole cheesecake) in their desk drawer

Most important of all, tell your writer often that you believe in him/her and her writing. Even better, write it down (in a Valentine's card?) and give it to them this week and at other times. 

Writers love words. Your love and encouragement, in words you have really thought about, will mean the world to them.

(with a shout out to the wonderful Steve Jenkins who at some time has done all of the above, apart from the cheesecake thing)

Deborah Jenkins is a primary school teacher and freelance writer who has written articles, text books, devotional notes and short stories. She writes regularly for the tes. She has also completed a novella, The Evenness of Things, available as an Amazon e-book and is currently working on a full length novel. Deborah loves hats, trees and small children. After years overseas with her family, who are now grown up, she lives in Sussex with her husband, a Baptist minister, and a cat called Oliver.