Leaning on a Spider's Web

Do you own books to which you return again and again? In difficult or troubling times, are there authors whose words are able to comfort and encourage you? One such for me is the late Jennifer Rees Larcombe. If, like me, you’re a fan, you may recognise my title this month as that of one of her many books. I come back to her autobiography, “Journey Into God’s Heart” again and again. It’s been the straw at which I clutch more times than I can remember.

I’ve been privileged to hear her speak and to go to her house for prayer and fellowship on a number of occasions. She really was the most wonderful and special person and the world is poorer for her leaving it. As I was thinking what to write this month, that feeling of putting our weight on something we cannot see and trying not to lean on our own understanding wouldn’t go away. 

I’ve spent much of this week filling in a spreadsheet for my tax return. There’s nothing creative about it and I always put it off, but actually, going through all the entries has sparked so many memories for me. 2022 was the year I took the leap of faith, gave up our catering business and became a full time writer. This time last year, I was sitting in my newly built Palace of Creativity wondering how on earth I was going to make it. Work was fairly thin on the ground; I had two books to market and was suffering with writer’s block on the third one. I was also in the grip of imposter syndrome. What did I think I was doing pretending to be a novelist? Why didn’t I get a proper job?

Running my finger down the columns of numbers (more going out than coming in) and entering the data into my spreadsheet, memories went off in my head like fireworks. Me on the train heading for Dundee for the Brechin Book Festival, courtesy of the wonderful Wendy H Jones. That was my first proper outing as an author and it taught me so much. Scotland-bound again (thanks Wendy) for the Scottish Association of Writers’ awards. Meeting Georgie Tennant for the first time. Delivering a talk for the online ACW writers’ day. Going back over that period between April 2021 and 2022, I was able to see with hindsight that God had been there every step of the way, guiding and encouraging me.

Last year was tough. My parents got frailer, there were lots of calls to 999 and in October we had to move them into a home. That generated huge amounts of work and stress and still is. I spent many sleepless nights imploring God to help me and show me the way. 

Leaning on a spider’s web. Faith can feel like that sometimes. When things don’t go your way, when unexpected challenges and difficulties block your path, when you  have to let go of things you loved, God is always there, never changing, always loving us more than we can ever imagine. I’ve got all kinds of plans for 2023, but I am learning that I need to discuss them with God first and pray them through before I take the leap. 

What are you praying through this year?

Images by Pixabay

Ruth is a novelist and freelance writer, the author of “The Diary of Isabella M Smugge”, “The Trials of Isabella M Smugge” and “The Continued Times of Isabella M Smugge”. She writes for a number of businesses and charities and blogs at ruthleighwrites.co.uk. She has abnormally narrow sinuses and a morbid fear of raw tomatoes, but has decided not to let this get in the way of a meaningful life. You can find her on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and Twitter at ruthleighwrites and at her website, www.ruthleighwrites.co.uk.