'The Nod'

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I’ve probably mentioned before that my principal work in progress is a novel called ‘A Sense of Belonging.’ One character is a vicar called Liv, but, despite being good at her job, she struggles to sensibly articulate the reasons that lie behind her choice of profession. All Liv can really offer is that she didn’t choose the profession. It chose her. No one in Liv’s life had ever recognised her talents or encouraged her to apply for ordination, but she did it anyway. Sound familiar to anyone? 

Around 1992, I was a young police constable in London with aspirations to join the CID. The first step was to join the local crime squad and after months of waiting, the chance to apply came around. I needed the support of my sergeant and here’s an extract from our conversation.

Me: ‘Hi sarge, they’ve advertised vacancies on the crime squad. I’d like to apply.’

Him: ‘Have you had the nod?’

Me: ‘The nod?’

Him: ‘Yes, you can’t apply without the nod.’

I shall spare you the rest of the dialogue, but I was told of the unwritten convention that my application could only succeed if I had received the green light, ‘the nod’, from the DI who ran the unit.

Suffice to say, I hadn’t received a nod, a wink or any other form of unspoken permission or encouragement, nor was I likely to. I wasn’t naïve. I knew I was well outside the DI’s inner circle and the only route in was to join his rugby club, where he was a larger-than-life figure, surrounded by young coppers hoping to be granted his patronage. Propping up the rugby club bar with the DI wasn’t my style, so I had to figure out what to do. Frankly, options were few, so I did the only thing I could, which was to incur the disapproval of my sergeant and apply, anyway. My sergeant meant well, but taking his advice would only have held me back. This wasn’t to be the last time I went it alone. Throughout my career, I applied for selection for positions in highly competitive departments, leadership programs, and promotions. I was never in anyone’s club and always felt outside of the inner circle. Success was mixed - I didn’t get everything I wanted the first time and sometimes I had to recover from disappointment to go for it again, but had I waited for the support or patronage of others, I would have achieved the square root of diddly squat.

If you’re waiting for someone to give you ‘the nod’ to do the things you want to do, what happens if it never comes? Yesterday, I was late collecting my daughter from the station because I was in a giant queue behind a red light at some roadworks. With endless patience, the driver at the front waited for a green light which never came. The traffic jam grew and grew. It was abundantly clear (to everyone else) that it was stuck on red, but the driver refused to move. Eventually, I joined the other drivers edging around the static car, which I assume is still there today, waiting for permission to move.

In the past few days, I have reflected on how easily I revert to ‘waiting for permission.’ I wait for the encouragement of others or a sign of some sort that gives me the green light to move. Of course, as people of faith, many here will rightly testify to receiving such signs, but my experience, to date, suggests that waiting for ‘the nod’ isn’t always the best approach.

Many readers here are also writers at all different stages. Some have confidence and much success to talk about. Their light regularly appears to turn green at the right time. Their writing receives ‘nods’ in the form of praise and encouragement. Others, though, feel embarrassed to even think of themselves as writers in their own minds, let alone out loud, and wonder if they will ever receive ‘the nod’ to be a ‘real’ writer. To those people, I believe God can confirm our hopes and plans with signs or overt encouragement, but sometimes, in faith, we must push ourselves and enjoy the ride, trusting that God is with us.

Usually I finish with a Bible verse, but today I shall leave you with one of my favourite YouTube videos. If it doesn't play, copy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKx1LKEo0JQ into your browser and have a smile.