Embraced by my Father By Claire Musters

Today is Father’s Day, a time when we pause and reflect on the amazing qualities our own dads have. For some, it is a time to remember a wonderful dad no longer with them. For others, the day sadly brings back painful memories, and they long for the 24 hours to pass quickly.

For myself, I could describe to you how wonderful my stepdad has been to me; the changes that have occurred in him over the years to enable him to become the incredibly patient and loving full-time carer of my mum. I could also affirm how great a dad my own husband is to our kids; how he brings fun and laughter as well as great wisdom and grace to our family.

That is all true, but I actually want to pause and reflect on how God has revealed His fatherhood to me in ways so precious over the years. Writing it down and sharing it is a great way to remember – and to honour His faithfulness.

I experienced the break up of my parents’ marriage when I was extremely little, so do not have much memory of it. I was fortunate to have a wonderful stepdad come into my life very soon after, and he has been amazing to each of us over the years (and continues to be). Not a Christian, there have been moments of pain as he has railed against the faith that the rest of us embraced in my tween years, but overall he has been an incredible gift to us all.

But as I reached my teenagehood, and we moved back to an area near my biological dad, I began to get really confused and hurt about father figures in my life. I was seeing my ‘real’ dad more regularly, but he didn’t feel like my dad – my stepdad did. But this was also the time when things regarding us attending church were really annoying my stepdad, so life at home wasn’t always peaceful. I tried desperately to not upset either of them, but found myself overwhelmed by the pressure and unsure how to be myself around them (particularly my biological father). 

That’s when God stepped in. 

It was like He gave me a big, fat hug, and I felt Him whisper that I could look to Him for a picture of what fatherhood is; what it is meant to be. Neither of my dads could fulfil the needs I have, and I couldn’t be to them all the things I was pressurising myself to be. He reminded me that only He is the perfect Father. Now, I know for some, interacting with God as Father is difficult, due to experiences with earthly dads. I am not trying to bring up past hurts for you at all; this is me honouring the way that God worked in my young, confused heart to reassure me of His love and care.

I haven’t always accepted that love though. After a particularly painful time in my life, when I had seemingly destroyed everything good in it and was battling for life as I knew it, God again showed me the depth of His love for me. Instead of condemning me, pointing out my sin and telling me what I needed to do now, He simply started speaking to my soul about who I am and how much He loves me. It was the very first time that the truth about who I am in Him actually reached my heart, and it began to blossom there. It gave me the courage, much as Hagar felt in Genesis 16, when He asked me to go back into the difficult situation in order for Him to redeem it.

He doesn’t orchestrate things to make our lives easy, but God definitely does have a beautiful Father heart full of grace, mercy, acceptance and love for each of us. 

Whether you are celebrating today, or feeling sorrowful, my prayer is that you know your heavenly Father’s tender touch. xx

Claire is a freelance writer, speaker and editor, mum to two gorgeous children, pastor’s wife, worship leader and school governor. Her books include Taking off the mask: daring to be the person God created you to be, Cover to Cover: Ezekiel A prophet for all times, Cover to Cover: 1–3 John Walking in the truth, Cover to Cover: David: A man after God's own heart, Insight Into Managing Conflict, Insight Into Self-acceptance and Insight Into Burnout. She also writes Bible study notes. To find out more about her, please visit www.clairemusters.com and @CMusters on Twitter.