Does it Matter

 

Having three teenagers and an eleven year old, it’s a question I find myself asking a lot. Does it matter? My kids ask it a lot too, but in different wordings. It can be a hard question to ask, as there is culture and what is seen as appropriate. It seemed to matter a lot more when we were younger too. There were certain colours that should never be worn together as they clashed. Does anybody still cringe when pink and red is worn at the same time? I don’t think my children are even aware how out of line that is…

Writing can be like that. I know someone complained that I had a coracle, a manned lighthouse and an army bergen rucksack in the same chapter. But I made up Elabi, so I got to add all the things I enjoy. Who wants an automated lighthouse, when you can have a lighthouse keeper? And a coracle is a wonderful craft, and I was thrilled to read a lot more detail about those little boats in Joy Margetts’ book The Stranger.

When writing historical fiction, accuracy matters, and even in fantasy, consistency matters. But even then, there will be things that may matter to one reader, but not to others. And when writing for your own enjoyment, you have a very important question in what matters to you. Why are you writing? Who are you writing for? If you want to simply get ideas out, all that matters is that you have some coffee and a space to write.

Several years in a row I have done NaNoWriMo, and managed the set 50,000 words without too many problems. I loved it, and it was a great way to move forward with the story. This year, I did probably 5,000 words, without joining in with any community. Having three teenagers with their Early Years Trauma coming out in different ways has taken up my headspace and energy. I look longingly at my laptop as soon as I have some quiet around me but end up just vegetating instead. And praying, thinking and plotting stories.

To Goldie, all that matters is food, walkies and our love for her. some days, that's pretty good for us as well.

One of the writing bits I have enjoyed a lot has been for our monthly local ACW group, Cotswold Scribblers. We set a theme every month, and somehow, a lot of the stories and poems I have done for the group have been about adoption, foster care or pre-fostering. Some of the secondary trauma we were told about can be channelled into those stories. Some of my children’s anger and fear confronting me can be given a space that then no longer has to use up my thoughts.

I had been thinking of doing an anthology or short story book or something like that, and looking at those various pieces, I might move forward with this, using that kind of theme. Where there is hurting, but also healing. Where God seems so far away, but looking back, we see His care. Where He is all that matters, because we mattered to Him. Where writing certain things or in a particular way matters, because His great love towards us matters, and where some days the only thing that really matters is that we know this.

So here’s the question when you sit down and write between eating mince pies and making lists of presents to still get, Does it matter? Does it matter to my soul and will it please my Heavenly Father? Will it be creating a tiny corner of His kingdom in people’s hearts as well as in mine? Enjoy the last day of November, when being ready for Christmas is not yet expected!