Late Blogs, Faith-crises, Desperate Prayers and Goats, by Natasha Woodcraft

This blog is a day late. If you only have time to read one blog today, please read Lucy Marfleet's here.

My excuse is goat-related. My goats escaped Sunday and I've spent the last three days hunting the surrounding fields, chasing, calling and playing goat noises on a portable speaker. I had no idea what day it was yesterday and the blog didn't happen. I realised at 7am this morning.

The goat's escapades led to a slight faith crisis. When you're walking for hours on end calling out, praying that an angel will appear leading goats in hand; when you rise at 5am and go straight to the pen, having prayed all night that they might have decided to wander back in and close the gate; when you get them into the right field only for the cows to chase them – you watch them jump the electric fence, you kneel in the grass amongst the cow pats and you cry out, "Why, God, why?" as you heave in exhausted pants and the cows gather round to steal the goat food from the useless bucket in your aching arms.

They're only goats. Why would God care? Yet, they're my goats. They're a little part of the creation he's given me to steward.  And he hasn't answered my prayers. He brought the animals two by two to Noah; he shut the mouth's of Daniel's lions, but he hasn't brought my goats back. Is he there at all? Does he care at all?

Sometimes our writing efforts can feel like this. We write late into the night, stumbling into bed exhausted. We receive another rejection letter, another criticism, another page of £0.12 royalties. What is the point? Has God really called me to write? Why hasn't he answered my prayers? Will anyone ever read it?

On Monday night, when the goats fled our land towards the road and river, we collapsed on sofas, not having eaten, not knowing what God was playing at and said, "We give up. Let nature take them. We shall never catch them." Do you feel ready to give up your writing? Have your lost the joy of it? Do you face unanswered prayer and struggle to see its purpose? Is your writing a tiny droplet of rain into a huge lake that is never going to make a ripple?

I hear you.

I published a book this month. It's called,

"From His Heart to Yours: Scripture-based prayers for Christian Writers."

There's a line in the blurb that says:

"Discover the transformative power of praying the Bible over your writing as you immerse yourself in Scripture, inviting God to speak to your heart and lifting His word back to Him in prayer."

Transformative power. That's what I claimed prayer had. Huh. 

I get the impression I'm being tested. My little book aims to help you pray scripture over your writing because I claim to believe in the power of scripture and the power of prayer. My intention for the blog this month (pre-Goat drama) was to wax lyrical about this book and encourage you to pray over your writing.

Instead I'm writing a blog about a faith crisis. What irony.

As I write this, it is occurring to me that perhaps this is exactly what I was meant to write this month. That this book isn't for people who have it all together, who are ultra successful in their writing, who have amazing non-faith-crisis prayer that assumes and sees God's blessing everywhere. 

It's for those of us who question. Who doubt. Who struggle. In other words, I need to use it myself.

So I am going to encourage you to buy it. Not because I want your money (it's a non-profit book anyway – I won't get any) but because I have to believe that God answers prayer and I have to believe that he has plans for my writing and sometimes, those plans don't look like profit. Sometimes those plans look like desperate early morning (late) blogs that convict my heart, show me who I am and pull me to my knees in repentance. The book journeys through Ephesians – there's a lot of repentance in it!

I hope you'll journey with me.

Natasha Woodcraft lives in a slightly crumbling farmhouse in Lincolnshire with her husband, four sons and a menagerie of animals. She believes stories have power to communicate deep truth and transform lives. Her published novels, The Wanderer Scorned & The Wanderer Reborn, explore God’s redemptive purposes for messy people by reimagining the tale of Cain & Abel. Also a songwriter, Natasha peppers her emotional prose with poetry and song.

P.S. For those wondering about the goats, we had a call last night revealing that they were safe at a chicken farm, but not secure. We went to see them, left some food and water and are seeking backup and a sheepdog to help retrieve them. Prayers still appreciated for angel assistance (even if it's canine.)

P.P.S The book can be purchased from Broad Place Publishing, My Website and Amazon.