No Regrets

My lovely Dad has now gone to be with the Lord, he was 94 and had a good life.  He was a wonderful man, a good husband, father and an absolutely crazy grandfather; an inspiration to most people he met, and he had a brilliant sense of humor. 

 

When he was 93, he became quite frail and dependent on us, as he was unable to walk unassisted.  I had a longing to take him to the coast, before it was too late. I knew he would love Broadstairs.  I imagined how happy he would be as I pushed him in his wheelchair along the beautiful seafront on a glorious sunny day.  We could go from Dumpton Gap along the lower promenade, passing the beach huts and white cliffs. Whenever I had visited Broadstairs in the past, the tide was always out so you could see most of the sandy beach and feel the warm sea breeze gently gliding over you.  We could stop at the Bandstand and listen to the live music playing, and have a cappuccino (his favourite drink) and a snack at the café. It was something I really wanted to do, and I kept thinking that time was running out. I wouldn’t want to live with the regret of not having taken him. I wanted to take photographs of our special day out; it really was something I needed to do with him, what a lovely memory it would be to have. 

 

Finally, the day came and I was so excited.  It was a bit of a struggle getting him into the car, but John always managed to make him comfortable.  It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day, just as I had imagined it to be.  

 

We set out on our journey, my dad said he was cold and wanted his coat, scarf and cap on. We hadn’t been driving for very long, probably about 5 minutes in all, when my dad started to panic.  In fact, he started shouting and screaming, and it was clear that he was not enjoying the journey at all, and nor were we.  John suggested turning back and taking him home, but I thought if we could just try and get to Broadstairs, he would love it once he was there, and I needed to take photos for memories. 

 

The whole journey was a nightmare. He didn’t even notice the beautiful countryside along the way. He just kept shouting for us to pull over and let him out. When we arrived, he said he wanted to go home.  I assured him it would be ok, and he would love the stroll along the beach. When we got to the lower promenade, the tide happened to be in and the sea was so close you could almost touch it. He panicked and screamed that we were too near the edge of the promenade and he was scared that he might fall into the water, and I could totally understand why, even though we were no where near to the edge.  He didn’t enjoy the day at all.  He wanted to go home. We ended up only doing part of the walk and made a detour well before the Bandstand, struggling in the intense heat to push him up the very steep hill to the top promenade, where he suddenly decided that he wanted fish and chips instead!

 

The whole experience made me realise that sometimes people can spend years regretting the things they didn’t do for someone, as big or small as it may be.  If I hadn’t done this for my dad, it would have been on my mind all the time that I didn’t take him. Or was I just doing the whole thing for me, so that I didn’t have guilt? The memories are not what I had wanted from our day out.  But had I not taken him, I wouldn’t never have known that.  

 

He shouted and screamed all the way home in the car as well.

 

So don’t be too hard on yourself if you didn’t do something you wanted to. Perhaps you weren’t meant to do it anyway, or it wouldn’t have been as good as you had expected.  An experience for sure, and a day I certainly won’t forget, but it was all well worth it. 

Derrice has written a book called "Glenna's Angel - A Miracle from God" when, in answer to prayer, God sent an Angel to her mother and healed her instantly in the ambulance from a near-death stroke.  It totally changed her mother's life from that day on.  The book is available on Amazon and in bookstores worldwide.  

Derrice has also written articles for Church magazines.