The Grumpy Traveller's Review

 One of the better-known attractions in Whitby is the 199 steps - a stairway that snakes its way up the steep slope from the cobbled street running parallel to the harbour to the headland where Whitby Abbey looms over the town. One recent disgruntled visitor, however, left a one-star review on Trip Advisor because the town council "should have installed a chair-lift". 

It made me think about some of my favourite locations in fiction - and how they might have been viewed by less happy travellers.

Rivendell: I don't know why people rave about this place. It's supposed to be peaceful, but they never stop singing (weirdly, they've never heard of Ed Sheeran). If you really must go, then make sure to take decent pair of earplugs!

Narnia: The brochure described this as "magical", but that makes it sound far more attractive than the reality. The hygiene standards leave a lot to be desired - there are animals everywhere. Definitely don't go if you're scared of mice - they're ten times the size of your typical field mouse, and they seem to think they have just as much right to be there as you do. Suspect whoever's in charge there has never come across pest control.

Manderley: This looks amazing in the ads - fabulous country house, close to the sea - but don't be deceived. The manager is a real old battle-axe who's always moaning about the good old days. What was particularly irritating was that the fire alarms were for ever going off.

221B Baker Street: This ought to be the perfect spot for a getaway weekend in London, but the owner doesn't exactly make you feel at ease. Always asking awkward questions or talking in riddles. And smoking a pipe - indoors? You'd think that health and safety had never been invented.

The Hundred-Acre Wood: The accommodation is somewhat basic, to say the least. Having refused the "tent" which looked more like a jumble of sticks that will probably collapse the next time the wind gets up, I ended up in an underground dwelling with an excitable rabbit for company. I was obliged to use the back entrance as the front door was blocked by a bear! The menu was somewhat limited, too - mostly honey and thistles. Okay if you like roughing it, I suppose.

Fiona Lloyd is Chair of the Association of Christian Writers and writes regularly for Together magazine. Her first novel, The Diary of a (trying to be holy) Mum, was published by Instant Apostle in January 2018. Fiona also works for Christians Against Poverty.

 Twitter: @FionaJLloyd & @FionaLloyd16