New Year Resolutions for Fictional Characters

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I hope you enjoy this 'New Year Resolutions for Fictional Characters' list. Things could have been SO different for these characters (and the stories SO much shorter). 






Gulliver: Don't lie down in other people's countries.

Red Riding Hood: When taking cakes to grandparents, go via the main road.

Pilgrim: Steer clear of Sloughs.

Dr Frankenstein: Use a wider variety of materials for future craft projects.

Dr Jekyll: Learn to live with yourselvesself

The Three Little Pigs: Begin with the bricks.

Holden Caulfield: Revise.

Jay Gatsby: Never let a woman drive.

Lennie Small: Let go of the soft things earlier.

Mr Bennet: Don't bother with sarcasm that no one gets.

Dorian Gray: Keep the portraits in the kitchen.

Juliet: Marry for money.

Three Men in a Boat: Leave dogs at home.

Magwitch: Skype from Australia

Jane Eyre: Ask for a full tour of the house on the first day.

Piggy: Always carry matches.

Macbeth: Never trust hairy women who don't speak in iambic pentameter.

The Emperor: Check in a mirror before leaving for processions.

Mummy Bear: Give them toast.

Can you think of any others? Please post them in the comments! 

PS  This is my last 'More than Writers' post for now. I'm 'slimming down' my waistline my commitments and ploughing my energies into a new novel in an attempt to finish it before 2028.  






Fran Hill is a writer and teacher based in Warwickshire. Her most recent book 'Miss, What Does Incomprehensible Mean?' is a funny teacher-memoir charting a year in her teaching life. You can find out more about Fran and her work via her website right here

Comments

  1. Clare Weiner (Mari Howard)3 January 2021 at 12:08

    Sorry you're leaving, and good wishes for the next novel - may the laughter be with you!

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    1. Fran Hill3 January 2021 at 17:54

      Thanks so much, Clare! I am hoping it does stay with me, at least until I've finished this current book and start writing my Gothic horror dystopia.

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  2. Unknown3 January 2021 at 14:17

    To anyone contemplating marrying Henry VIII. Don't.

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  3. Anonymous3 January 2021 at 14:22

    Brilliant Fran. I loved these. Some really stand out - especially Jane Eyre taking a full tour of the house from the outset! Excited to hear you've committed to writing a novel next. I plan to finalise and place 2 novels this year - one is about to get a readthrough and hopefully a full substantive edit (from me) and the other is to go in a new bolder direction, be completed and then go through the same process as the 1st. (Note to self to follow Wendy H Jobes' guidelines on actually achieving goals after setting them). Plus another Warwickshire book too if all goes well...

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    1. Fran Hill3 January 2021 at 17:57

      You are going great guns, Sheila. I will never be quite so prolific! It looks as though 'Paranormal Warwickshire' did really well over Christmas so I hope you're happy with your sales figures. All power to your writing elbow. x

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  4. Jane Lynch3 January 2021 at 14:29

    Bilbo Baggins: Don’t take something that doesn’t belong to you?

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    1. Fran Hill3 January 2021 at 17:58

      Yes! The problem is, these would all have been such short books! Pamphlets, even, or haiku.

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  5. Deborah Jenkins3 January 2021 at 20:25

    Such fun! Really enjoyed this. Will miss you too but look forward to catching up with you in other ways (Rebecca: Employ your own housekeeper)

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    1. Fran Hill3 January 2021 at 20:41

      Yes, to the advice to Rebecca! And 'If you get another option to be a key protagonist, opt to be alive.'

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  6. Katherine Blessan4 January 2021 at 11:02

    Had fun reading these! Hamlet - Watch out for friends whose names begin with R and G.

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    1. Fran Hill5 January 2021 at 12:46

      Thanks, Katherine. Good advice to Hamlet! He could have had a long and happy life.

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  7. Ruth Leigh4 January 2021 at 15:00

    Amelia Sedley - don't, whatever you do, marry George. Give his infatuated bestie the eye instead. I'll really miss your blogs Fran. I've loved them, they've made me laugh out loud and taught me stuff too. However, if this means more brilliant books from you, then so be it.

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    1. Fran Hill5 January 2021 at 12:47

      Thanks so much, Ruth. Please don't say 'books' in the plural like that. It's scary.

      Delete

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