I have a confession to make that's not easy for a writer on a writers blog.
I am harbouring a hobby called writing!
You may think that's great, it's such fun, what better hobby is there? But for me, it's not supposed to be a hobby.
It's my passion, my desire, one of my reasons for working from home and for having an office built. The problem writing has not attained the lofty place of purpose in my everyday life.
How do I know?
I know because everything, and I mean everything, distracts me from it. Housework, cooking, washing, walking the dogs, meeting friends, spending time with family ... everything.
My writing gets pushed aside, as if of little importance, like a hobby that one enjoys but only if time allows, after everything else has been done. Writing gets those stolen moments that I allow, as a treat.
What is it that pushes my passion to write down into hobby status?
Guilt! Pure and simple guilt. Writing feels like an indulgence. Surely something I love so much can't really be work? Can there really be any worth when there's no financial gain?
To be fair, there's no financial gain in housework either but it is a recognised 'job' for a wife and mother, and so receives some credible status. So the world tells me.
When I shut myself away in my office to write I am assaulted with thoughts that begin, "I should be doing ... something else, anything else".
I know these thoughts come from an enemy that doesn't want me pursuing what God wants me to write. I know my guilt comes from a society that puts monetary value and status as worth on a job. I know the thoughts are lies but it doesn't stop them coming.
I'll be honest I haven't yet figured out how I'm going to combat this. I need to promote my writing from hobby to work status and accept that no money does not mean no worth. It's going to take a lot of discipline and lot of blocking out time in my diary, but I've named it now and I'm determined.
Do you struggle with attaching worth to your passion? What are your tips or words of wisdom? Share them below, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Tania Vaughan started Let's Talk About Ministries after writing her book "Let's Talk About Sex and Relationships - A Bible study for single women".
Through devotionals, mentoring and teaching, Tania seeks to encourage every woman to claim the full life that Jesus came to give them. Online Bible studies and her blog can be found on her website www.taniavaughan.com