Something Nasty in the Slushpile

 I was looking for something quite different among my vast library of books when I came across this little gem. It was published in 2014 with the tagline ‘How Not to get Published’ by Sammy Looker. I can’t remember whether it was a present or a charity shop find but it has proved a valuable resource. And a fun way to learn what not to do when seeking publication.

In the days when many traditional publishers accepted unsolicited submissions, they would employ readers who would have a first look at the submissions and give them an R for reject, or a P for pass, before it was passed up the line for further consideration. The appropriately named Sammy Looker was a reader and his publishing house would have the manuscripts read by two readers and if one gave it an R and the other a P, then a third reader would look at it. Despite slush piles being less usual now, the experience Sammy Looker gained in this role may still be relevant to us because many Christian publishers do not insist on submissions being via agents.

The book is funny, but sometimes a little challenging. Comprised of many examples of bad practice, I have recognised a few ways that I could have done better when submitting my first manuscript. For example, I had walked into writing fiction thinking I would have the same success as I had with the non-fiction books I had written with colleagues. I proudly wrote about my worldwide sales, including in translation, when they maybe weren’t as relevant as I thought.  - especially as I was writing under a different name and would not expect my readership to be the same.

On the subject of submission letters, my favourite examples from the section in SNITS titled ‘All about me’ is:

       ‘I have a rickety past. I have lived life; indeed, I still do.’

       ‘I am co-writing with an author who is Enchantingly creative. We need one ADVENTUROUS publisher to MAKE THINGS HAPPEN. For sure she will be one BIG Plus …’

When requesting a book’s unique selling point, these answers have been given:

       ‘A book to be dipped into, carried around in your pocket, read on a train, dropped in the bath.’

        ‘I would appreciate your consideration of the enclosed proposal for a humorous book, which I believe will achieve cult status. It might not sound funny but it is.’

And so it goes on, looking at target markets, spelling and language, authors who’ve made it, and some who have faked it and there is a charming A-Z of How Not to Get Published.

Much recommended and still available as an ebook, or by all means borrow my copy if you are anywhere near Norfolk.

Annie Try writes novels which include a touch of faith. She is published by Instant Apostle and Kevin Mayhew Publisher. Her most recent novel is for YA and any adult. She has now completed the sequel with the provisional title, 'The Precarious Path of Emma JJ'