Hidden Treasures by Keren Dibbens-Wyatt
When my parents moved away a couple of years ago, they
kindly left me nine boxes labelled “Keren” they had discovered in their loft.
Mostly they were full of university notes and schoolbooks, now happily recycled
and living new lives as, well, probably university notes and schoolbooks, but
with better karma.
Everyone finds themselves fascinating, it is one of the
foibles of the human race, and so it was eye-opening going through my English
books and the bits of dried up classroom acrylic that must once have passed as
paintings of sorts. The maths and physics books were, for me, the easiest to
throw out. The ones with no pictures, or just diagrams. Books of French and
German vocabulary too, redundant in the age of Google. History and Religious
Studies, that was harder. All those terrible drawings of the Bayeux tapestry
and motte and bailey castles, people in togas, or wearing giant phylacteries were
rather sweet (or unintentionally funny). But my writing and my art? Nope,
couldn’t part with it. Not even the poorly illustrated, badly written and
unfortunately named “Amurus and the City of Atlantis,” (age 9) which had my
husband and I in fits.
If you read any book about discovering God’s purpose for
your life, you will be told to ask yourself what you loved doing as a child, before
people told you what you should be doing with your life. It’s a smaller and
smaller window of time these days, but those moments where you got lost in the
magic of something, what was that? For me, it was always books, it was always
colours and nature. It took me a long
time and some ministry to rediscover those joys, after decades of adult cares
and pressures, exams and paying the rent, as well as a horrendous neurological
illness had wrung them out of me. Grown ups do NOT write and paint. Grown ups
go to work and pay the bills.
But some of us escape. Some of us become daring enough to
start a sentence, even a paragraph, with a conjunction. And looking back at
those delightful stories and poems (there must surely be some kind of
institution for 7 year olds who use the word “doth” without compunction?), I
felt a kind of affirmation. This strange, sick woman who loves to write, draw
and paint, had her roots in a child who devoured Dahl, Lewis and Aiken, this
little girl who danced in her imagination so free and wild, and wrote a story
(aged five) about two patterns who met and fell in love. It was so wonderful to find her again.
This resonates with me mightily, Keren!
ReplyDeleteI hope you have reconnected with your inner imaginer, Aggie!
DeleteBoth beautiful and moving! I want to read that pattern story :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Martin :) As I recall it was very short...
DeleteI really love this post. It made me laugh and feel sad all at once. Why do we leave our childhood dreams behind so easily? Unfortunately, because of a chaotic family background, I have nothing from my childhood. It all got thrown away or burned. I would love to see my old schoolbooks or drawings. One day, maybe, I will :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Fran. That's sad about your things, I'm sorry - my husband is the same, not one scrap of it remains. But I hope you are right, and in heaven we'll find God has a gigantic refrigerator covered in all our scribbles :) (and hopefully full of chocolate eclairs).
DeleteI so hope you are right about the chocolate eclairs. If not, I'll be coming to find you, and I have eternity to search ....
DeleteGulp.
DeleteThat's a piece that would grace any "creative" website or magazine. I really like it.
ReplyDeleteGed Cowburn
Thank you, Ged, that's a lovely thing to say.
DeleteBeautiful, Keren, and a testimony to the huge difference we can make to the lives of little people just by saying, 'This is fabulous! You have such talent...' Which, incidentally, you do, on many levels x
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deborah. Yes, encouragement is so vital. I had my gifts crushed later on, which doubles the joy in the rediscovery!
Delete