To Share Or Not To Share?

 

One of the most challenging issues I’ve dealt with in my almost ten years of blogging is the question of how much and what aspects of my personal life to share. 

     Since much of my writing consists of reflections on faith or the Bible rooted in everyday life, it is a question that comes up regularly, and it is one which also impacts various other types of writing, most obviously memoir writing. 

     When I began blogging, my solution was simple – use a pseudonym. Of course I had to anonymise certain details, but mostly I could share from the heart with little editing, which I found freeing and refreshing. 

     However, a year into blogging, I was challenged that rather than hiding behind a pseudonym, I needed to own my words and my story, so I switched my blog to my real name. I don’t regret the choice, but it did mean taking greater care over what I chose to share. 

     Then, as I began to have writing included in anthologies, and shared about it more with my real-life family and friends, the importance of considering carefully what to share only increased. Anyone I knew could be reading my blog. 

     While this has rarely been an issue, more recently, the knowledge that a particular acquaintance reads my blog is something I have found stifling. I have needed to set boundaries with this person, and it has concerned me that in reading my blog, they may be gaining access to more of my personal thoughts and feelings than I would want. 

     Finding the right balance is tricky. It’s important to recognise that publishing our words, whether in a blog or a book, means making them public and surrendering a degree of control over who reads them. We do have to be careful in what we share – especially in the personal details of our own lives or others’. 

     At the same time, I long for my writing to be authentic and honest. This is something people have often commented on about my writing, and I have found that overthinking what I write can stop the flow of words completely. 

     If you share in this struggle, I’m afraid I don’t have all the answers, but my main advice would be to pray and seek God’s wisdom, and to keep focused on glorifying him in what we share or don’t share.

     A book I have found helpful is “Share Your Story” by Kate Motaung, which contains lots of practical tips as well as helping us reflect on why we should share our stories and how we can do this well. 

     I’ll finish with a quote: 

    “The primary purpose of telling our stories is not to gain glory, recognition, or fame for ourselves. Instead, our goal should be to give credit where credit is due, to the One who made us, rescued us, redeemed us, saved us, sanctifies us, and sustains us. Our aim should be to magnify His name and point others to the saving grace and mercy that can be found in Christ alone.” (Kindle location 175)

Lesley Crawford blogs at Life In The Spacious Place and contributes regularly at Gracefully Truthful. She has written One Big Story, a Bible curriculum for school groups and contributed to various anthologies, including the ACW anthology, "Merry Christmas, Everyone" and "The Jesse Tree Anthology".