God's Misson Not Mine

 Life is a funny thing, isn’t it? You think you know what will make you happy, but God has such a different idea! When I started out as a writer, I thought getting a contract with a traditional publisher was a big deal—a dream. But following a mountain of hard work and dedication and the undulating peaks and troughs of disappointment versus hope, the dream came true. 

God was definitely part of it. I remember when I was asked if I would write the book. I had so many misgivings but then decided that if it was meant to be, God would sort it all out. He has, but not in the way I expected. Once published, in my naivety, I thought that would be it! I was well on my way to publishing lots of books. Ha! How wrong I was!

 Now,  I know I’m in a safe place here and can be honest about my writing worries. My book, admittedly a non-fiction that I wasn’t expecting to write, was published a few years ago. At that time, it featured at every New Wine and Spring Harvest event, but now (as I write this from the meeting place in Spring Harvest), I’m almost too scared to see if it has made its way into the book shop. 

I’ve given away many copies to teens, parents of teens, vicars, and youth pastors who are lovely and polite and say, “Well done, I’m looking forward to reading it,” but then the feedback is little to none.

I wonder is it that they still haven’t read it and are too embarrassed to say so; read it, loved it and moved on; read it and hated it; or (worst of all) started it and couldn’t go on. 

I’ve had a little positive verbal feedback, but the truth is, I would really like to know if the book was rubbish rather than just this dry desert of evidence before me. I need affirmation, even if it’s negative affirmation (is that a thing?).

And then it hits me. Hang on! This is God’s mission for me, not my mission for me. I finished the project, did as He asked. Surely I should be happy in that. He has a plan. Why should I mind if someone didn’t like the book? It must have helped at least one person. And, as far as God is concerned, that is enough.

So, I’m letting go and moving on. My writing passion is still strong. I’m bursting with ideas and ready for my next God-inspired adventure. Is there anyone else out there who feels like me? Let’s go!