Discovering life connections

I have a brother-in-law, Paul, with an unusual gift.

He is able to talk with almost anyone and very quickly

find a link with them. For example, when he was staying in Norfolk, he spoke to the owner of a parked VW camper van simply to admire the vintage vehicle. This started a conversation and within a few minutes Paul had found out that the VW van owner had lived in Surrey as a child a few doors down from the school where Paul had been teaching. 

It happens so often that one day he said he had met someone and before he could tell us about it, I said ‘Okay, where’s the connection?’ His reply? ‘Funny you should ask that because …’ and told me the tale and the link back to when the stranger’s life and his own had touched, but they had not known each other. Maybe it is because he is very good at listening, or perhaps he asks just the right questions.

I can only think of one instance where I have found a link like this. We were on a package holiday in Cyprus which had attracted holidaymakers from all over Britain, travelling from different airports. One excursion was for a traditional Cypriot meal. On our table, opposite us, were two ladies who we did not know. They introduced themselves as old friends who had gone to school together. It took one question, ‘Which school?’ to establish that it was the grammar school in Beckenham that I went to. They were a few years below me, but they thought they could remember my sister. It led to a fascinating conversation about shared teachers, lab experiments etc. 

In our writing we have to be careful with such incidences because they can seem too far-fetched. This doesn’t apply to memoirs where the discovery of coincidences can be seen as God-driven. But for writing fiction, I was taught the value of the ‘smoking gun’. This is a hint to what a story is about, which is then built up by extra clues to the climax of the story. Random strangers who are unaware that their lives have previously crossed doesn’t fit this pattern, but many a romance has included the theme of colliding or near misses of previous encounters.

So is life stranger than fiction? In this case, maybe. But such discoveries can also be fruitful food for fictional writing.

So here’s a choice of challenges if you’d like one:

- Think of five questions that could be asked to discover if there’s a time when your life has crossed with theirs.

- Try them out when you next meet someone new.

Or

Write down any such incidences that you have had. Store it for your memoir or to elaborate it into a short fiction, poem or other writing.

I would love to hear what you have discovered. 

Annie Try (Angela Hobday) is now working on the final chapters of her tenth book, the most recent five being contemporary fiction. Her present WiP is the sequel to The Dangerous Dance of Emma JJ, published by Kevin Mayhew. She loves speaking about writing and running workshops.