Headspace

 

At least Goldie is calm and has a clear head...

It’s my son’s birthday, the last one before he is a teenager as well. Life has been ‘interesting’, my favourite English word that covers all kinds. I thrive on chaos and slight madness, but the last months have taught me that there is a level of chaos where I no longer thrive, or even do fine.

Writing has been extremely sporadic, and on a need-to-do basis, like this blog, which is like a little oasis, to be honest! When I do sit and write, I realise how cleansing and healing it is, determined to do it more often, but through the madness, weeks will go by before starting my laptop again…

But there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Therapy has been applied for, school places have been granted, support is being lined up. And my mind is slowly emptying of excess chaos, and for the first time in ages I found myself reading books again, and buying books…

Headspace is in very short supply as is energy, and some days, the idea of having to start up the laptop feels like a job that will be best done the next day. Reading words felt the same way, but I picked up a copy at our wonderful caravan park of a cosy crime by T.A. Williams, set in Tuscany. The idea of reading a book felt too exhausting, but Tuscany had been a wonderful holiday years ago, so one afternoon I sat and actually started reading, and I was hooked. I binge-read the entire series, relieved that at least I was handling words again! Having a private detective that solves murders whilst being helped by a labrador was exactly what I needed to enjoy reading again.

Plots are now growing in the cleared head spaces, and I can feel the nudgings of characters waiting to be put through trouble again, and I’m excited! Feeling guilty over my lack of engagement with life, I have started promising myself that we’re nearly there, we can do this. I’m making to-do lists and getting activities crossed off, and several weeks have included writery things as well.

I know others have mentioned writers’ block, and I couldn’t imagine being lost for words, but there’s mental blocks and spiritual blocks we might be dealing with as well. Storms of life can knock us down and drain us. Getting help, being seen, gaining support from knowledgeable people has been invaluable, and has gone a long way in freeing up thoughts and allowing ideas to form again. Just admitting that there’s a block helped as well, but it’s been painful to admit defeat most days when a to-do list wasn’t even started.

So if you’re there too, keep going. Keep reaching out to others; for me, people’s prayers and support has been amazing. It can be hard to do, when it seems that others have huge abilities and are able to achieve so much in a day, when just getting a meltdown-free breakfast is the main goal of the morning… Maybe start by reading something light and short, something to calm your mind for a few minutes at a time, allowing some of the chaos to be restructured. I know some of you use journalling, again, it’s something that will reorganise the flow of thoughts and worries. (It’s one of my ideas floating around, a devotional for parents where life doesn’t follow standard parenting books!).

Life is still pretty messy but slowly, a kind of structure is ordering life again and I’m excited about stories and opportunities once more, praying for peace and healing and a removal of anything that hinders for others as well. So at nearly the end of the month, just before the summer chaos starts, reach out, pray together, read cosy books and drink coffee!

Maressa Mortimer is Dutch but lives in the beautiful Cotswolds, England with her husband and four (adopted) children. Maressa is a homeschool mum as well as a pastor’s wife, so her writing has to be done in the evening when peace and quiet descend on the house once more. She loves writing Christian fiction, as it’s a great way to explore faith in daily life. Maressa is part of a special Dystopian book group online, which you can find here: https://reamstories.com/faith-based-ya-dystopian/.

Her debut novel, Sapphire Beach, was published in December 2019, and her first self published novel, Walled City, came out in December 2020, followed by Viking Ferry, a novella. Beyond the Hills is the second book in the Elabi Chronicles, and was released in 2021, followed by stand-alone novel Burrowed, released in 2022. The third book in the Elabi Chronicles, Downstream, has just been released. All of Maressa’s books are available from her website, www.vicarioushome.com, Amazon or local bookshops.