Sticks and Stones, by Fiona Lloyd

I was a sensitive soul, growing up. Whenever I was upset by someone’s teasing, my dad – who subscribed to the stiff-upper-lip school of parenting – would remind me of that well-known proverb: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

At the time, this was scant comfort. Even now – with all due respect to my late father – this saying makes no sense to me. I’d go so far as to say it’s completely the wrong way round, in that physical hurts tend to heal over time, but the wounds caused by vicious words and barbed comments can often fester inside us, resulting in far longer-lasting damage.

This seems particularly relevant in the light of the forth-coming general election. Having watched people’s reactions to both Brexit and the US presidential election last year, it’s clear that there’s something about political debate that can bring out the worst in us. We take to Twitter, Facebook (and all the other forms of social media I’m not trendy enough to understand) to express our outrage over the opinions of others. Someone dares to share a point of view diametrically opposed to our own, and – quivering with indignation – we leap right in to demolish their arguments.

I’m hardly the world’s best typist, but I know that if I’m not careful, my fingers can move quicker than my brain. All too quickly, our determination to highlight the fatal flaw in another person’s argument becomes an attack not just on their political views, but on their character. Our words are no longer a means of engaging in thoughtful dialogue: instead they become a menacing weapon, poised to wound and inflict damage.

I’m writing this on a Sunday evening. In our church service this morning, the preacher talked about the importance of kindness. It’s listed in Galatians as one of the fruits of the Spirit, which means it’s something we should be seeking to grow in our lives. I suspect it’s one that we often overlook, though; not least because it sits bang in the middle of that list, and the four before it (love, joy, peace and patience) are challenging enough.

As writers, it’s a concept that bears careful consideration. How will we ensure that the words we use are kind? For some of us, this will involve thinking through the ways we interact with others online. Do we really need to post that comment? Is there a better way of expressing it? Are we using our words to build up and encourage, or to belittle and hurt? We might also seek opportunities to use our words in a different setting, by writing a card to someone who needs support, or sending a text to let someone know we’re thinking of them.

Ephesians 4: 29 says: Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths (or fingertips!), but only what is helpful for building others up. There is a real opportunity for us as Christian writers – particularly in the run-up to June 8^th – to demonstrate the truth of the gospel by choosing to fill our words with kindness.

Fiona Lloyd works part-time as a music teacher, and serves on the worship leading team at her local church. Fiona self-published a violin tutor book in 2013 and blogs at www.fjlloyd.wordpress.com. You can find her on Twitter at @FionaJLloyd. Fiona is vice-chair of ACW and is married with three grown-up children.