Delusions of Grandeur Syndrome

 

I suppose it may have started at the dog show when Lizzie came second in the “prettiest bitch” class. My noble intention was to see how this puppy of mine would cope with other dogs and loads of people. She did well, much better than me! As I looked at the winner, a greyish skinny whippet, I thought, hmm there must have been a mistake. My Lizzie was surely the prettiest. Then a nasty thought emerged: the owner must have known the judge! Oh, dear, just downhill from there.

 It got me thinking about what Anne Lamott names as the other end of the “Imposter Syndrome”, “Delusions of Grandeur”. Anne says,

“But a lot of people come to my workshops or classes secretly hoping that I will have read their submission and absolutely flipped. I will take them aside after class and tell them that all the story needs is for them to put a little spin on the ending. … But I tell them that this is probably not going to happen.”*

 I’ve never really suffered from the Imposter bug, but delusions of the high accolades I will receive when I finally get traditionally published, yes. Where did this come from? Being a high achiever at school? Put that on hold.

Also in the past month, I attended a “Find your Vision” webinar because it was hosted by a friend. I went to encourage her. There were only two of us, but wham, the Lord spoke to me. Concentrate on your poetry. Yes, that made sense as I’m a bit of jack-of-all trades, trying every writing genre possible (devotional writing, short stories, a historical novel and poetry). As I think about it, it makes sense to concentrate on one genre and improve your writing in that area. By attempting several forms of writing, I was not becoming good at any of them.

So, what have I learnt this month? I’m not going to receive the Pulitzer or Booker prize any time soon, but I might just improve my poetry by concentrating on it instead of flitting from one genre to another. And oh yes, I will probably rejoin TRELLIS, the ACW poetry group when it restarts in September.

PS: I must wish others well and squash the green-eyed monster!

*Anne Lamott, “Bird by Bird”, 2020 Canongate Books Ltd. 

 

About the Author

Rosalie tries not to take herself too seriously. Life is too short! She enjoys writing in different genres - historical fiction, bible study guides, devotionals and poetry. (delete and insert 'used to') She is the Groups' Coordinator for ACW and welcomes any enquiries about groups at groups@christianwriters.co.uk