Do you ever find that you've got stuck in a rut? I find a good way to gauge if I am in such a place is to look in the mirror. How long have I had my hair in the same style? Is it like that because it is the most perfect style there could ever be for me? Or is it because it's just a bit too scary to think of changing?
I am one who finds it hard to find the right style to suit me as I have a long thin face and a long thin neck! I would love to have long hair but it never works so generally I have gone for a moderately short cut. Not particularly modern but easy to manage and sort of ok with the long thin features....So usually when my hairdresser comes my request is: 'just the ends off as usual please'.
I wonder if she ever sighs inwardly, thinking 'I wish Tracy would be just a bit bolder sometimes and try something different!'
I wonder too, on a more important level, if God sometimes sighs fondly when I err on the safe side yet again and stick to what I know when making decisions that affect my life and/or my faith journey? I love to read inspirational stories of how others take risks and through doing so achieve amazing things for God. But often, reading those stories is as far as it goes for me. I may be inspired, even challenged, but when it comes down to it, I still stick to what I know and feel safe with. This is true for my writing too, I am used to writing in a certain way, teaching/reflective/prophetic....it is good and blesses others but suppose God wants me to take a risk and write a story or even a novel? Will I dare to try something different?
A few days ago I went to a different hairdresser as my usual one was ill. I asked her to only take the very ends off but suddenly as she was snipping away, I had this mad thought, 'why not try going properly short?'
So I said, (before I had time to think myself out of it...), 'Some people have suggested I have it cut above the ears, what do you think?'
Well the upshot of that remark was that I ended up with much shorter hair than I'd planned on. Far too short to gather into a mock pony tail and if it wasn't high summer (ha!) my ears would definitely catch cold. I've dared to take a risk with my hair, will I do the same with my life choices? And how about with the way I write?
The thing that often holds me back from taking risks in life is, suppose I get it wrong? I felt that with my hair...Suppose I get it wrong and it doesn't suit me? And in life or writing....Suppose I get it wrong and it doesn't work out?
Well, one thing I've come to realise in my Christian life is that God wants me to grow. And what makes me grow the most is when things DON'T always work out. Those times when I need to lean on Him to guide and enable me and trust Him to help me in unresolvable situations. It is then that I grow and discover what an amazing friend He is. And growing is true for my hairdo too....Hair grows and mine grows quite quickly...so why not take a risk and have fun trying something new? I can always grow it out if its not quite right for me, and in case you are wondering, I've realised that this particular short cut is NOT quite right for me. I don't like it and don't feel it suits my face. However, I am strangely glad that I took the risk of doing it a bit different. I may not like it but it will GROW. And so will I. I know I won't choose to have it that short again. But if I hadn't tried I wouldn't have known that. Similarly, one day I may write a great novel.. Or, I may find that writing stories does not work for me. But if I don't take the risk and try, I will never know. Only God knows what choices (and hairstyles) are truly right for me and will bring me more and more alive. He just wants me to take the risk and step out. If its right for me, great I will become a fuller person. If it isn't right, well that's great too because in the process I will learn and I will grow and develop and yes become a fuller person.
So here we are, the moral of this blog is, enjoy life, enjoy taking risks, enjoy trying new things. Don't agonise how they will turn out and the likelihood of it going wrong, because God is in the wonderful business of working all things for the good of those who love Him and who are called according to His purpose..