Can you try harder? by Brendan Conboy

Last night I dreamt that someone was reading the Bible. Most of the text was red and I said, “Wow! Jesus said a lot. That reminds me of my exercise books from school.”

Most of my books were filled with the dreaded red ink. I don’t remember any words of encouragement, concern, or support. Every teacher wrote - ‘Messy, wrong, redo, unclear, needs improvement, makes no sense, not enough detail, no, and TRY HARDER!’

Did you ever receive comments of this nature? How did it make you feel? I like to think that the education system has changed since my school days in the 70s. How can you try harder when you have already tried your best?

I often hear of writers who fear sending their manuscripts to be edited, fearful of the red ink. There isn’t an actual phobia of red ink, but one may be considered as ‘rhodophobic’ (the fear of red) or ‘atelophobic’ (the fear of imperfections).

As Christian writers, we need to encourage each other, but how do we know who to help? Charlie Mackesy, in his book The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, says "Asking for help isn't giving up. It's refusing to give up.”

I have had so much help and encouragement from ACW members, they have helped me to achieve and I still need all the help I can find. You can do what seems impossible. The following poem was inspired by my teachers with their red ink.

Try harder – Pay attention

“Try harder”, the teacher said

I wish they would listen instead

Try harder? They don’t understand

It’s hard to try harder, with a broken hand

Can anything ever go as planned?

With a hard father, who makes a stand

Upon my hand

Why doesn’t the teacher ask,

“What can I do to help?”

Instead, he just yells

“Try harder”

I want to tell, I want to speak

He just wants to teach

It’s not forbidden, to listen

To have vision

To see my hurt and pain

To understand the fear inside my brain

Red ink doesn’t make me think

When I’m on the brink

I pretend all is well, living in hell

Does fear have a smell?

Why can’t the teacher tell?

It’s the same in every class

No one ever asks

“Are you alright?”

I lie awake each night

Living in fright

In my life of tension

I need the strength to mention

If only the teacher would pay attention in class

How long can this last?

 

Brendan Conboy aka Half Man Half Poet is the author of 16 published books including two fascinating autobiographies, The Golden Thread and I'm Still VALUED.  In 1986, Brendan invited Jesus into his life and God blessed him with the gift of rhyming words.  He used that gift as a Christian Rap artist for 25 years and has written 6 poetry books including the entire Book of Psalms in Rhyme.  He has 3 published novels - Issues, Invasion of the Mimics and Legacy of the Mimics.  He is the creator of Book Blest