Celebrations – and contemplations By Claire Musters

My husband and I recently celebrated our silver wedding anniversary so will be heading to Paris just after this post goes live. To mark the occasion, here are some things I’ve learned in the last 25 years that I believe can be helpful for our writing too:

Just as in marriage, writers need:

Passion

A relationship often begins, and continues, because of a passionate love for one another; we need that same sort of spark in order to write. I remember those heady days of constantly thinking about Steve, wanting to spend every spare second together and being annoyed when things got in the way. Writing can burn inside of us in a similar way; in fact, it needs to if it is going to survive the long haul…

Perseverance

Passion may be really evident in the early days, and still underlie a marriage many years later. However, that same burning sensation will not last every day, year in, year out. There will be times when the relationship is, frankly, hard work. It’s then that we need ‘stickability’. ‘For better, for worse’ we say on our wedding day. 

It’s the same with our writing – there will be days when we are caught up in the ecstasy of it all, as the words flow easily and well. But there will be other days (probably more of them too) when each word is a struggle, when inspiration eludes us and when the plod of research, the editing process or regular writing gigs gets us down. That’s when we need to remember our calling – and persevere.

Patience

We need to be patient with those around us. There will be times when we are irritated by the fact that those in our lives need our attention (particularly when the words are flowing so we don’t want to stop!). We may experience people questioning the wisdom of us continuing writing when we are finding it difficult too. 

We also need to be patient with ourselves. In those moments when we can’t quite find the words, rather than beating ourselves up about it, telling ourselves we can’t possibly call ourselves writers if we can’t even string one sentence together, we need to be gentle. The words will come.

Personality

In marriage our personalities shouldn’t be squashed: they should be celebrated. We will each have quirks and hopefully our partner will encourage rather than diminish them. The picture I’ve chosen made me smile because the footwear made a traditional day much more personal for that couple.

In our writing we need to remember we have our own personality. It is something to be thankful for, as it gives us our voice. Too often I think we can compare ourselves to others; even try to write like they do. An editor and well-known author both gave me the same feedback on an early draft of chapters from Taking Off the Mask. They could sense when my unique voice had stopped and I was trying too hard to write in the style I thought a chapter should be in. It was a hard lesson to learn, but I realised I needed to stop being afraid and let my personality shine through every page.

Perspective

Learning to be less selfish is definitely necessary for surviving marriage! In our writing we too need to remember that it is not all about us. We know we should keep our reader in mind, but often we can get so engrossed in the process that it feels like a completely personal thing. But placing our writing as an offering before God each day is a good way to remind ourselves that he may choose to touch others through it. 

And, yes, finally, sometimes there will be pain in the offering, but God sees that. He knows, he understands, he appreciates…

Claire is a writer, speaker and editor, mum to two gorgeous children, pastor’s wife, worship leader and school governor. Her books include Taking off the mask: daring to be the person God created you to be, Cover to Cover: Ezekiel A prophet for all times, Cover to Cover: 1–3 John Walking in the truth, Cover to Cover: David: A man after God's own heart, Insight Into Managing Conflict, Insight Into Self-acceptance and Insight Into Burnout. She also writes Bible study notes. To find out more about her, please visit www.clairemusters.com and @CMusters on Twitter.