The Writing Cycle - by Liz Carter
We’ve all heard of the water cycle. Evaporation,
condensation, precipitation, collection. The other night I was lying awake,
pondering on a stage of writing I’m in at the moment – somewhere between
excitement and fear, with a nice dose of writer’s block in the midst – when it occurred
to me that there can be a bit of a cycle when it comes to both writing and
spiritual lives:
1. Inspiration: I HAVE AN IDEA! It’s flowing through my
veins, desperate to make itself known on my screen or in my notebook. It’s like
riding the waves as I let the words come, stumbling over one another in their
breathless desperation to be heard. My heart beats faster as I enter into a new
world and I am caught up in the glory of it all. It’s creativity. It’s passion.
It’s fire. It’s what I’m supposed to do.
2. Application: Well, this is tedious. No one told me how
long-winded the editing process can get. The dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s,
then checking those last phrases should really have apostrophes. Doesn’t look
right, does it? Sigh. I long for the ecstasy of the first draft ride again.
3. Apprehension: I’m a fraud. I can’t really write. Everyone
is going to see through me, see that I’m not a real author, that I’m not worthy
of the name. The rejections are piling up – they
can see through my act. Who am I kidding? Everyone else is better at this
than me!
4. Desperation: I can’t find the words. Where are the words?
When I search the far recesses of my mind, I find nothing. A big brick wall of
nothing. I sit at my laptop and stare at the empty screen, hands poised over
the keys, waiting for inspiration to come back, to wrap me up in its warm arms
and hurl me into the excitement I live for.
With God, I find some similar parallels. I’m inspired by the
love of Jesus and the power of the Spirit, and ride the exhilarating waves of
the knowledge of his presence. At other times, it becomes a slog as I apply
myself to the Christian life, longing to follow God’s ways and become more like
Jesus. It’s not always an easy – or exciting – stage. There are other times
when I am besieged by doubt and apprehension; unsure I am getting things right,
or even of God’s love for me. Living with chronic disease can often mean a
disconnect for me between my knowledge of God’s absolute and passionate love
and my lived reality of daily pain. This can turn into a darker stage of
desperation, where I find it impossible to access God’s presence, where I can
see nothing but a brick wall, where praying seems to bounce back at me from an
empty space.
It’s my response at these times which is so important. Will I choose to praise God,
anyway? To put God first even when I can’t seem to find God? Inspiration times are wonderful, but sometimes it's in the desperation times where we grow most with God.
What about you? What is your experience of the cycles of
your life with writing – and with God? Where are you at the moment? Wherever
you are, I pray that you will be surrounded by the peace and presence of our
God, the inspiring creativity of the Spirit, and the passionate love of Jesus.
Photo by sanjiv nayak on Unsplash
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