Further lessons in surrender 14th May 2018 by Susanne Irving

As I shared in a blogpost at the beginning of this year, my focus this year is on surrender. I wish I could report amazing progress in this area, but surrendering is an ongoing struggle.

Whereas my husband is happy to go with the flow and let things develop, I like to make a plan and work out in advance what I will do (including when and how). Don’t get me wrong, I am perfectly happy to tweak my plans and make changes… as long as it is ME who decides to make the changes and the changes are not forced upon me. In essence, I like to be in control or at least have an illusion of control…

However, there have been two occasions in the last month when I struggled with surrendering my plans.

On 27^th April, I was meant to go on a half day retreat in Mottisfont. Feeling burned out and directionless, I was really looking forward to taking time out for reflection. Whenever I got stressed, I added a few more details to my special day. As walking often helps me to clear the clutter in my mind, I decided to make a day of it and walk to Mottisfont from Romsey. I could picture myself exploring the medieval heart of Romsey, enjoying the Hampshire countryside and then practicing to be still and tuning in to God’s voice at Mottisfont.

What I did not envisage was the change in weather. On 26^th April, I received an e-mail that due to the inclement weather forecast the retreat would be cancelled. There was an offer to still meet at Mottisfont if there were any takers, but my fellow pilgrims all seemed relieved to be able to cancel and wait for a new retreat date. Not me though. I was thinking of ways to make it work. I have often been told that the problem is never the weather, but the wrong clothes. I would simply wear sufficient layers to face the storm.

After all, I still had my waterproof trousers and hiking boots from my Kilimanjaro hike.

Stepping outside in the evening and getting a foretaste of the wind and rain helped me to finally surrender and accept the no to my plans.

I struggled to get up on the 27^th. I realized that I would have been too exhausted to follow through on my adventure.  

Lessons to remember:
A “no” can be a blessing and is often temporary – learning to surrender involves holding my ideas and plans loosely. The right timing is as important as the right project.

Last week I learned another important lesson. I arrived at the train station to find out that there were no trains in either direction expected for the next few hours. I beat myself up for spontaneously deciding to take a later train. If I had only stuck to my original plan, I would well be on my way! While I was busy painting a dark picture of the next few hours, a taxi was called and I was whisked off with one other stranded passenger to the next open railway station. In the end, I was only delayed by about 10 minutes. However, the delay gave me the opportunity to encourage and pray for my fellow passenger, who was facing a lot of challenges.

Lesson to remember: D-tours and unexpected obstacles can lead to God appointments if I take my eyes off myself and look for opportunities.

I wonder what lessons you are learning about surrender and what helps you to surrender?

About the author: Susanne Irving is the co-ordinator for the Creative Communicators in Petersfield. She has co-written a book with her husband John about their experiences when climbing Kilimanjaro. It is aimed at both trekkers and those who are going through a dark time in their lives. How to conquer a mountain: Kilimanjaro lessons is available as a paperback and an e-book on Amazon, with all proceeds going to charity. The German translation Wie man einen Berg bezwingt: Was der Kilimanjaro uns gelehrt hat was published in June 2017.