Reality

I’m not a cake person. And although I enjoy baking, I detest decorating cakes. Probably because they never look the way the package tells you this creation should look like.

My girls wanted this multilayered rainbow cake, so we made it yesterday, as Sunday is our Family Birthday. I followed the steps to the letter, but somehow, the cake didn’t quite look like it did on the box. Never mind, it’s large enough for six of us, at least that bit of the label was correct. With the speed at which my kids eat cake, they will hardly notice what the cake looked like by the time I was done with it.

Expectations and reality are interesting things. Today, we’re supposed to go to Legoland. The kids have been asking for a very long time, and we finally caved in. But what if it doesn’t live up to expectations? What if it’s boring, too busy or too noisy?

It is interesting to see fear creeping in, almost to the point of missing out on the entire day out, as not going almost looks like the best option. That way, you can dream about Legoland and how cool it looks and how wonderful the rides must be. There will be no disappointment or disillusionment. No fun either.

Trusting God with our lives can look like the wildest ride at Legoland. I don’t like rides, but in the pictures, everyone looks thrilled. I would probably enjoy it, but what if I don’t? Staying home with a large coffee seems a better option. That way I can imagine myself having a wonderful ride.

Of course, I trust God with my everyday life, my children, and my writing. By just sticking to the sofa, hugging my coffee, imagining book 3 of the Elabi Chronicles, clearly seeing wonderful, engaging newsletters sent to droves of fans. In the background, I can hear my printer coughing out page after page of manuscript, ready for my editor’s red pen.

Imposter syndrome can hold back our blessings or ruin whatever good thing God sends to us. Our fear and uncertainty can stop us from following and enjoying what God has given to us. Just like some of my children almost pick staying home over Legoland in case they get disappointed, what do I ignore in my life, out of fear of failure? Worried that somebody points out I don’t belong there, I’m not a real writer, I don’t fit...

So today, I’m stepping out in faith and I will buckle up, ready for another ride clutching on to my much-braver children who laugh at spinning contraptions. I won’t wonder in fear when this rollercoaster was last checked or how rusty the screws must be by now. And later this evening, I will look at my Elabi notes, and allow myself to travel and dream about where my main characters got stuck. And I will trust God with the outcome as well as the details. And eat cake, however skewed, drippy or soggy-looking. Just bin the box.

Maressa Mortimer is Dutch but lives in the beautiful Cotswolds, England with her husband and four (adopted) children. Maressa is a homeschool mum as well as a pastor’s wife, so her writing has to be done in the evening when peace and quiet descend on the house once more. She loves writing Christian fiction, as it’s a great way to explore faith in daily life. Because of her interest in writing, Maressa is part of Creativity Matters: Find Your Passion For Writing, an anthology encouraging people to write.

Her debut novel, Sapphire Beach, was published in December 2019, and her first self-published novel, Walled City, came out in December 2020, followed by Viking Ferry, a novella. Beyond the Hills is the second book in the Elabi Chronicles, and was released in 2021, followed by stand-alone novel Burrowed, released in 2022. All of Maressa’s books are available from her website, www.vicarioushome.com, Amazon or local bookshops.