Separation Anxiety and Success

I used to dread Sunday mornings. Not the whole going-to-church thing, obviously (for those of you who were about to pelt me with remaindered books for heresy). It's more that when my children were toddlers, I could guarantee they would throw five-star screaming fits whenever I tried to leave them in Sunday School. 

Me on a Sunday morning...

One of them had a particular penchant for screeching at full volume as I walked out of the door…and yet, as I loitered outside said door in a state of mother-guilt indecision, I could hear the wailing decrescendo at a rapid rate until they were indistinguishable from all the other boisterous two-year-olds. Forty-five minutes later, they’d barely glance up at me as I went to retrieve them.

 

Separation anxiety is seen as a normal part of child development, and it’s a stage that most children grow out of quite quickly. It seems like one minute they’re clinging to your leg like an over-zealous Rottweiler, and the next they’re rolling their eyes with embarrassment whenever you go within three feet of them.

 

As Christians, we can get hung up on separation anxiety, too. I came across a paraphrase of Romans 8: 35-39 earlier today which simply stated that “we cannot be separated from the love of God”. It’s one of those truths we all know, and yet we still moan about God feeling distant, or suspect He doesn’t really like us as much as that irritating super-spiritual person who sits in the front pew.

 

What has this to do with writing? Well – and maybe this is just me – I wonder if there’s a tiny part of me that thinks that God will love me more if I write a bestseller, or that He measures my worth by how many have been moved to tears/faith/Yorkshire by my words. When I forget that God loves and accepts me regardless, I focus too much on the outcome of my writing, rather than enjoying the journey and the process.

 

So, may I encourage you: next time you sit down to write, remind yourself first that God loves you unconditionally. Because that’s worth far more than success, recognition and six-figure book-deals any day.

Fiona Lloyd’s novel, The Diary of a (trying to be holy) Mum, was published by Instant Apostle in January 2018. Fiona has also written for Woman Alive, Christian Writer and Together Magazine. Fiona is vice-chair of ACW, and works part-time for a Christian debt-advice charity.

Twitter: @FionaJLloyd & @FionaLloyd16