'Oh tell me a tale of love so divine'

Photo by Birmingham Museums Trust on Unsplash

I have to write a ballad. 

A ballad I have to write. 

A tale of love it has to be 

So no murder or bloodshed or spite.

Will it be a tale of love for a human, 

or maybe of love for a cake? 

Or maybe a quest for that eternal desire

The most perfect and scrumptious bake?

In all seriousness, this is the next challenge set by my Alpha Writers group. To write a ballad on the theme of love. Maximum length 8 stanzas or quatrains, as the challenge setter suggested. I had no idea what a quatrain was till Amy Robinson kindly told me. 

We have one poetry book at home, which is The Nation's favourite Comic Poems. The are two wonderful examples in there, though neither are about love. One is... Alternative endings to an unwritten ballad by Paul Dehn.  Here's one verse:

I stole though the dungeons, while everyone slept, Till I came to the cage where the Monster was kept. There, locked in the arms of a Giant Baboon, Rigid and smiling lay … MRS RAVOON.

I love the sheer silliness of this, and I bet it's fabulous to see it performed at recitals, especially if people can join in.

The other one in the collection is The Cremation of Sam McGee by Robert W. Service. A ballad which I could only imagine been read by Johnny Cash. The very first line says it all …

Now Sam McGee was from Tennessee, where the cotton blooms and blows.

If libraries were open, I'd go and devour any ballads that they had, but sadly not, so I'll have to see what delights are on the web. Do please let me know if you have any favourites, or tips on writing a brilliant ballad. 

As well as trying to compose this, I'm also hosting a week of humorous prompts on Twitter. Seven words that can be used to hopefully raise a smile, smirk or snigger. I'll be pinning them to my profile each day, so if you tweet, it would be an honour if you took part. 

We certainly need some light in the darkness right now, and a good reason to chuckle or just write silliness. 

Until next time, thank you for reading and may the words flow freely …

 Martin is a writer, baker, photographer and storyteller. He's been published in the ACW Christmas anthology and Lent devotional. He's currently honing his craft at flash fiction and you can find him on Twitter here.