The life-changing power of story by Ros Bayes

Story is important for all of us. It’s how we make sense of the world, allay our fears, re-order our past into a sequence that help us reconcile with it, and anticipate that good may yet come in the dark times. For some people, especially and perhaps surprisingly those for whom words are difficult, story can be an essential key to wellbeing. 

I’m talking about autistic people as well as those with learning disabilities who find it difficult and confusing to navigate their way around the world. Some of them may be limited in their ability to express themselves in words; others may be completely non-verbal. For such people, facing unfamiliar situations, familiar situations which they know they already find difficult, or sudden and unexpected changes, social stories can be a source of real help in managing very difficult emotions and anxieties.

Social stories come from Carol Gray, whose website (https://carolgraysocialstories.com/social-stories/) gives detailed information about their history and development, how to write them and what elements to include, as well as what to avoid. In recent years I have found myself writing social stories to help my own daughter, who is autistic and has a learning disability, to manage situations such as her grandmother’s funeral, being a bridesmaid at her sister’s wedding, and having a new wheelchair.

This last one is trickier for her than you might think. Her wheelchair is so much a part of her daily life that the thought of losing it and having a new one is almost overwhelming, even when the current one is causing her discomfort or pain. Added to this, she has traumatic childhood memories of being wrapped in wet plaster of Paris as a cast was taken to make a mould so that her wheelchair would be shaped exactly to her contours. Nowadays plaster of Paris is no longer used, but the traumatic memories remain.

Here is an example of a social story, which I have written to help her come to terms with her new wheelchair (in the copy which she has, each short paragraph is on a separate page, accompanied by a suitable photograph). 

In January I had a new wheelchair. The wheelchair clinic staff thought it would be a good chair for me.

But the new chair turned out to have some problems. None of the screws are very good, they keep working loose. The tray isn’t big enough or stable enough.

But the biggest problem is that the chair doesn’t support me well. My feet slip off the footrests and get uncomfortable. My back isn’t supported properly and that isn’t good for me.

So I need another new wheelchair, one that is made especially to fit me and supports me properly. This means at the wheelchair clinic I will have to have a cast made of my body.

It will be a dry cast. It won’t make my body wet. They will wrap a beanbag round me and take all the air out of it, then it will be the same shape as me. They will make a wheelchair the right shape for me.

It will take them a while to make my new chair. I will have to be patient.

Eventually my new chair will come. It will be a lot like my previous chair, only this time it will be bigger and more comfortable.

I will be happy in my new chair.

Such a simple few short paragraphs, and yet this will literally save her mental health, prevent self-harm and sleepless nights, and enable a smooth, trauma-free transition to the new wheelchair. Who would have thought that story could have so much power?

Well, God obviously did. Time and time again throughout the Bible He sent His messengers with stories, and they had powerful effects. I’m not only thinking about the parables of Jesus, although of course they are a prime example. Think of the prophet Nathan, coming to King David with a tale of a poor man who has one ewe lamb which he has raised as a pet, almost as if it were his child. His wealthy neighbour steals, kills and cooks the lamb to serve to a guest because he doesn’t want to kill one of his own vast flock. David immediately sees the metaphor for his own conduct and the story becomes a life-changing catalyst for repentance and lasting change.

I wonder if we realise, when we are writing our stories (whether brief social stories like the one above or a whole series of novels) just what an extraordinary and powerful tool we are wielding!

 Ros Bayes has 12 published and 4 self-published books, as well as some 3 dozen magazine articles. She is the mother of 3 daughters, one of whom has multiple complex disabilities, and she currently works for Through the Roof (www.throughtheroof.org) as their Training Resources Developer, and loves getting paid to write about disability all day. You can find her blog at http://rosbunneywriting.wordpress.com and her author page at http://www.amazon.co.uk/Ros-Bayes/e/B00JLRTNVA/. Follow her on Twitter: @rosbwriting.