Dreams and Desires

Dreams and Desires 

Tree Cathedral, Whipsnade: great place for dreaming

'Delight yourself also in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart.'

(Psalm 37:4)

    It's a great verse, isn't it? One we've all heard many times. And encouraging...I think. The problem is, this is a verse which all too often becomes simplified to, 'I'll follow God, and He'll give me what I want.' There are a couple of problems with this.

    The first is that it's easy to read this as 'I have desires, which He will grant me', whereas it should be read more as, 'He will give me the desires which are His.' It's also often only the second part of this verse which is quoted. However, if we start with the first bit and delight ourselves in God as a priority, it is the desires which follow this relationship. The closer we get to God, the more He reveals what our hearts really desire.

    Which brings me to the second problem: do we even really know what we desire? I read a great article recently on singleness which really struck a chord. I'm happily single, but it's taken me a while to get to that point. I was once convinced  that I wanted to be married and wasted a lot of time pursuing what I thought was my desire. It wasn't. A lifetime of society  promoting being with someone as an ideal made me feel like that was what I wanted, when it really wasn't. But when people sympathise with and pity your single state, even  laughing when you say you aren't looking for someone, the obvious reaction must be, well, I should be missing that relationship, yes it is what I want and need. 

    It isn't just an issue with relationships of course. How many of us are looking to get a promotion, change jobs, move into a different area, write in a different genre because people keep telling us we should? I remember as a new teacher being told lots of 'rules', including to never stay in your first school more than five years. We like a formula because we can manage it but it's just a type of legalism. If we ditch the formula, then we have to come back to God. Oh yes, I forgot Him in the excitement of applying for jobs, going on dating sites, expanding my social media presence...

    Yes, the Christian writer is  not exempt from being easily diverted. Other writers have covered this, but we all know the feeling that the elusive next milestone is the one that will fulfil our desires, whether it's getting published, finding an agent, selling more books, acquiring x amount of followers online. But is that what God wants? Surely He wants us to delight in the gifts He has given us and the desires that come through them. Perhaps what we should think about when following what appears to be a genuine desire is, what if no-one knew but me and God? If I just wrote this book, if I just stayed at this school because it feels right, if I moved to this town, would I feel right with God, or would it be an obstacle in our relationship? That shifts our thinking. 

    The next time I go back to my writing, I want to be delighting in the gifts God's given me and open to how He wants me to use them. I want to stop counting followers and follow the one who counts.

Rebecca Seaton writes mostly fantasy and last year published her first novel, A Silent Song, through the Pen to Print Book Challenge, where she also won second prize.