Am I a real writer yet? by Deborah Jenkins

When our children were small, one of their favourite books was one of the Happy Families series by Allan Ahlberg. It was called Miss Jump the Jockey. It was about a little girl whose mother, father and older brother were all jockeys, but she was too young. The story is about her ever more creative ways to prove to her family that she's ready to be a jockey. Our favourite part, however, was the repetition which the kids adored (and which we still all chorus at get-togethers when the situation demands it): "Am I a real jockey yet?" Right up until the last page, her family reply, "Not yet, Josie!"

Today, this book reminds me of someone I know. Now, who is it? Oh yes, You!* When are you going to stop asking yourself (and everyone else) that question? When are you going to stop imagining their reply, "Not yet, ______!" (insert name)

Just for fun, I looked up the definition of 'writer'. This is what I found: "A person who has written something or who writes in a particular way." Interesting...

There are all kinds of things we tell ourselves about the legitimacy of our role as writers. So, I thought you might like to see what mine are.
I've also added in my top ten ways of knowing whether you really are a writer. (Well, it helps me)

1. You write in a book-lined room with a view of the sea, the sound of birds drifting in through long windows while the family ply you with good quality coffee.
You write in stolen moments in a cupboard under the stairs with no window and a lock on the inside (so the family can't find you) only stealing out for a drink or the loo when they're playing upstairs.

2. You dress in flowing writerly clothes - a White Stuff skirt, ruffled blouse and hair loosely piled into a chignon/brogues, a collarless shirt and a waistcoat (with pocket watch).
Your writing garb usually consists of  tracky bottoms, your dad's old dressing gown and Big Pants (to avoid abrasions to the inner thigh from tight knicker elastic. This is helpful during comfort-eating binges - see below)

3. Your in-box contains appreciative emails from emotional readers telling you how much your articles/books/blog posts have changed their lives which you consider modestly while drinking champagne.
Your emails contain a steady flow of rejections from agents and publishers but you keep going anyway determined to find ways to improve your submissions (along with a bit of comfort eating for support - see Big Pants, above)

4. Your on-line posts about your successes are read avidly by your admirers and usually get around 200 likes in the first 30 minutes.
You generally forget to attach the link correctly so there is no point wearily refreshing your  page every few seconds as nobody can see it anyway. You decide to ask your son/partner/the Tesco delivery man, to give you a lesson on how to share links.

5. You put aside a whole morning every day for writing while your cleaner does the ironing, cooking, shopping and cleaning.
You squeeze in half an hour when you can, notebook at the ready, during breaks at work/while folding washing, waiting for the meal to cook. You are genuinely surprised when you are late for a lesson/ have left half the washing on the line/have condemned the family to an inedible mass of congealed pasta.

6. You are supremely confident about everything you write and can't wait to see more of it out there among your adoring readership.
However many successful articles/books/posts you've written, you are regularly filled with self-doubt. causing you to google Plot Lines That Work and TED Talks on Comma Usage.

7. All your neighbours/friends/colleagues know you're a writer because you're constantly reminding them what you're writing and where they can buy your published work.
People are surprised when they find out you're a writer and keen to read what you've written. You don't need the affirmation of others to make you feel authentic (although the stationery aisle in Smiths helps too).

8. You do not need encouragement/support/constructive criticism from other writers though you are very happy to offer it to them.
Your writing buddy/group/community is one of the most precious things you have. While you would occasionally like to stab them in the eye for pointing out inconsistencies you've been successfully hiding for months, you know their caring honesty is vital for your own writerly growth. Also, you can pinch their marketing ideas.

9. Your creative ideas are listed neatly in your antique leather journal, in black copperplate handwriting formed by a traditional ink pen.
You scribble things down on the nearest available surface - bus tickets, serviettes, the baby - with a red felt pen you found in your pocket. 

10. You don't have much time for people - you are too busy writing.
You are curious about people's lives and find yourself guiltily mining them for detail while wondering if it's immoral to use them in a cunning sub-plot.

So, are you a real writer yet? I suspect the answer is probably Yes! Go for it, dear Writer, and Godspeed...

*And me!

Click on the link to see the novella on amazon
You can see my educational articles here
Deborah Jenkins is a freelance writer and teacher, who has written articles, text books, devotional notes and short stories. She also writes regularly for the tes. She has completed a novella, The Evenness of Things, available as an Amazon e-book and is currently working on a full length novel. Deborah loves hats, trees and small children. After years overseas with her family, who are now grown up, she lives in East Sussex with her husband, a Baptist minister, and a cat called Oliver.