When you're living in the overwhelm instead of the overflow by Joy Lenton

Emotional doesn't begin to describe how I've felt over the last few months. 

It's been a roller-coaster ride, with frequent dipping low to ground. 

During my dark season of the soul, I struggled to write, feel creative or be encouraged. Ironically, it also coincided with self-publishing my book. 

Talk about bad timing. :( It was accompanied by guilt for feeling this way as a blood-bought, born-again daughter of God.

As an encourager, I felt adrift, and anxious about how to help others when I was so discouraged myself. 

When I listened too intently to my emotions, life felt pretty grim, devoid of joy and peace. I struggled to find myself in the maelstrom, never mind see where God was in all of this.

Am I suggesting we shouldn't be in tune with our mental state? Not at all. It's how we experience the rich variety of feelings at our disposal, and a means of discerning deep desires that aid us in shaping purpose and plans. 

But we're not meant to live in a constant state of emotional lability and overwhelm, nor to be numb to all that's going on around and inside us. 

Balance is the key thing. Knowing what is 'normal' for us is useful in discerning the way ahead. Excessive grief, despair and discouragement could be warning signs of incipient depression, requiring medical care and attention. 

Positive emotions are different. We feel energised. Hope flares brighter. Love flows more smoothly and joy is a natural way of being.

I think that joy and sorrow can coexist as partners in the way they interweave and interact together, pulling us toward God, whether in praise or seeking comfort.

"Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? ...look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy" ~ Kahlil Gibran

I've been learning that our wounds - pain, grief, sorrow - are also our deepest source of spiritual growth, if we let them teach us the lessons they bring.

The things we want to run away from could also be a means of grace, drawing us closer to Christ.

Listening to our lives is key to understanding what is happening. What are our fickle feelings and fluctuating emotions trying to tell us?

They could be indicating a state of the heart, body, mind, or a form of spiritual attack. Prayer, godly wisdom and discernment are required to help us get answers to what is eating us up on the inside.

God has the final say on our lives. His word promises and reminds us that life is full of blessings. 

Those blessings may come wrapped up in sorrow and sadness sometimes. They won't all have beautiful bright bows on them, but all offer an invitation: to open, appreciate and sense the gift hidden within - glimmers of grace shining midst life's detritus.

Our purest joy and deepest gratitude will stem from seeing God's hand in everything. We can relax in His omnipresent, omniscient care. 

Past, present and future are safe in God's hands. He alone can bring joy out of adversity and birth purpose out of pain.

Whatever painful trial we may be experiencing, we have hope of it passing. God's grace waits to be discovered in life's dark places.

Here's a little note I wrote during the hard days:

A poet pays attention to her days

Careful observation of its corners

makes for more words upon a page

Because writing will flow again. Each tiny poem or short sentence counts. Our mood will lift. Creativity will bloom and be deeply enriched by all we have gone through - and survived - with God's help.

Meanwhile, let's just let ourselves be held...

NOTE - **I hesitated so much in writing this post. It wasn't a topic I was keen to share, because I'm in a stronger place now - mentally, if not physically. But sometimes we just have to be honest about our struggles. My hope and prayer is that someone reading this will feel less alone with theirs**

Joy Lenton is a grateful grace dweller, contemplative Christian writer, poet and blogger, author of 'Seeking Solace: Discovering grace in life's hard places'. 

She enjoys encouraging others on their journey of life and faith at her blogs wordsofjoy.me and poetryjoy.com as she seeks to discover the poetic in the prosaic and the eternal in the temporal. You can connect with her on Twitter and on Facebook.