Of Mice and Men by Keren Dibbens-Wyatt

Photo of mice in lockdown from Pixabay

My publisher and I had some plans. Not the best laid plans, nothing by Steinbeck, but some plans, nevertheless. And then came the pandemic and swept them aside. My book launch has been put back a month to July, so that hopefully it will be brought out at a time when people may actually be going to bookstores again.

It’s a small frustration in a time where we all have bigger worries. We’ve all been reminded, in the most alarming of ways, that we are small, mortal and powerless. But we’ve also, if we have a faith, been thinking on how God is infinite, immortal and omnipotent. Maybe we’ve been praying more than usual, or learning to do church and community online. That’s not a new skill for those of us who were already housebound, but it does make life different.

Writing too, has been affected. Many of us have found our creative rhythms, and our timetables, out of whack. Fear and change are both exhausting, and so we may have discovered that whilst a lockdown might seem the perfect time to get on with some writing or editing, we actually haven’t felt up to doing it. And that’s okay. If anything, this is a time to learn the hard lesson that we are not our productivity. We are not our word count. We are not our successes and failures. We are not our rejections and acceptances. Those things, whilst important to us as creative people, are not the core of who we are.

Maybe now is a good time to just be. If the TED gurus are to be believed, time spent staring into space, attempting to relax, working out (I have no idea what that is), gardening and so on, are actually a boon to our creativity. We are more likely to think of an earth-shattering plot in the shower than when hunched over our keyboards.

I don’t know about you, but I’m not trying to circumvent or quash my fears and anxieties, or bully myself into doing more work. For now, it is enough to just get through this, holding on to God each day, and letting the ideas flow or not. It might even be (if we are not trying to homeschool or work) a time to play a little, maybe try some new writing or creative practices. To try drawing, colouring, doodling, painting. If time or attention spans are short, haiku and flash fiction are good to both read and write.

I’ve actually found that my poems and flash fiction are being accepted more during this time, which feels odd to me, as I’m not even the best poet in my house. But it’s lovely to try out new avenues and see pieces of my work out there. Maybe this is a good time to let all those plans relax a bit too, and lean more into the ones God has for us. No, I’m not going to quote that verse from Jeremiah. But there is more in our writers’ hearts than we think, and maybe now is a chance to relax into that.

Falling into God’s plans always feels right. Letting those come into focus now by relaxing our hold on goals and deadlines might just be a great investment in our futures.

Keren Dibbens-Wyatt is a chronically ill writer and artist with a passion for poetry, mysticism, story and colour. Her writing features regularly on spiritual blogs and in literary journals. Her full-length publications include Garden of God’s Heart and Whale Song: Choosing Life with Jonah. She has a new book, Recital of Love, coming out with Paraclete Press in July 2020. Keren lives in South East England and is mainly housebound by her illness.