Tuesday, 27 November 2018
In the know by Tracy Williamson
'One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek; that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple.' Psalm 27:4
'Why are you downcast O my soul?' Psalm 42:5
'If I make my bed in the depths you are there..' Psalm 139:8
I find such words so evocative, as if a mirror is being held up to my own undisclosed heart and through such words flesh is being put onto my own joys, sorrows and longings. I long to write in such a way that the reader is taken into an experience and viewpoint that is beyond their own. To be broadened, to see and bond; to connect with God' or with someone's delight or grief.
I remember once watching a comedy about an angel that was on a special mission to earth, so it took on a man's identity in order to fulfil God's plans. 'He' developed a relationship with a lady but kept getting into scrapes because he had no concept of for example, hot or cold temperatures, pain, the taste of food...He asked her to describe what the taste of an orange was and she was struggling to find words that could cross the void and enable him to 'taste' it himself. I realised that although this was just a comedy, it was also a picture of what good writing can do, to create that window of understanding and connection so that I can stand with another and see through their eyes; or put words to my own reality in such a way that someone else may be able to stand where I stand, glimpse my feelings and identify.
Here for example is a tiny poem I wrote once about my own experience of deafness. One in 6 people in Britain have a degree of hearing loss but everyone's experience of that loss is different. When I say I am deaf many presume that means I live in a silent world but for me, that is not the case as my world is in fact very noisy but yet totally incomprehensible. One day while in a difficult social situation, I started jotting phrases down of how my deafness felt to me and it became this poem which I have shared many times since. Several have said how much understanding it gives them of how deafness can be for some and is for me:
A muddle of sound,
Voices passing to and fro.
I smile, trying to look as if I know,
What is going on.
I laugh, trying to prove to myself,
That I belong.
Why do I try?
Why can I never express the cry,
That echoes in my heart?
As, in the laughing, talking group
I sit cut off, a person apart.
So that is a glimpse into one part of what it means for me to be deaf. A picture could convey the loneliness and strain a deaf person experiences but maybe not the specifics of that person's experience to the same degree. But the words do bring those specifics alive in one small aspect. but it is not all sadness, here is another aspect depicting my joy:
Words are spoken
But I cannot hear
I see the lips moving, the animated gestures,
But I am beyond a veil
Invisible, always looking in from the outside.
And then you come,
My dear friend,
Seeing from across the room
That I am disconnected, alone.
You sit alongside me
Keyboard in your hand
And with sacrificial love, skill and deepest friendship
You type every word being spoken.
On and on
And I read, understand and suddenly am there!
And joy fills my heart as I connect.
Through the wonderful gift of friendship and care.
Let's keep exploring the awesome power of words to put us 'in the know'.
www.mbm-ministries.org Tracy and Marilyn share a home together in Kent and apart from travelling, Tracy loves reading, eating out with friends, dogs, and chocolate!