ACW

ACW

Thursday, 8 November 2018

Fisherman or Pharisee?




Folks, is it just me or do you sometimes feel a bit second rate? A tad not quite as good as that other person? I know God says we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others and that’s very good advice but I’m going to be real here. I do sometimes feel a little lower. When authors such as Emma Carroll, Philip Davies, Abi Elphinstone (input your own choice here) have a new book out I’m delighted for them I really am. In fact, I always buy their new books, love and enjoy them but I also feel a bit of a failure for not having my own out there yet.

Last Sunday, I sat in my village church watching the robed clergy. I stood when they said stand, repeated words they instructed me to repeat, made the required responses to various parts of the liturgy even stood before the bible while one adorned priest read the holy words halfway down the aisle. I know there are many reasons the Church of England follow these rites and traditions and I’m not about to argue the validity of them but I became very aware of being set apart from these noble priests as though I didn’t quite reach their standard. That somehow, my value as a person is less than theirs.

It’s the same in any environment, I suppose. Society is keen to remind me that unless I drive a certain car, live in a particular neighbourhood and my children attend a well-known celebrated school, I am less successful than those that do and therefore inferior. I will never forget the Cambridge don chatting to me during the Law Society meal, enquiring which university I attended. When I named a rather humble little university, he actually turned his back on me! I could have informed him I’d been offered a place at one of the top 5 redbricks, but I declined. Surely, he’s the one with the problem!

I’m only having a little moan. I’m not usually that bothered about all of this and I work hard, trying to accomplish all that God has for me.


Of course, us Christians know God’s view on this. The bible tells us over and over again that we are the head and not the tail, God has no favourites, we should be humble and not envy others. It also says that God’s will be done and I shouldn’t strive for recognition and celebration. But let’s be honest, just once, it would be nice, wouldn’t it?

4 comments:

  1. Yes, it would be nice, and I truly believe that you will get there, Nikki. Looking forward to reading your piece in the MCE book :) I also want to thank you for your blog post yesterday. I've got a big deadline at the moment and feel very behind so your post was a real blessing. All the very best, Martin :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're very welcome. thank you for your comments, I feel very blessed!

      Delete
  2. Ah, the demons of inferiority and self doubt... So glad I'm not the only one who sometimes gives them shelf space. Thank you for this lovely, honest post Nikki. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, its silly isn't it. I'm so gad for others' successes and I know the rest of us will get there too. xx

      Delete