Words in the Darkness, by Lucy Mills
This originally appeared as a Finding Inspiration column in the Spring 2014 edition of Christian Writer.What happens when the lights go out? There are times in our lives when we struggle with darkness, of whatever kind. Times when our faith is knocked. In these times we may find writing a release. We may also find writing as difficult as everything else.
This is made even harder if we consciously identify ourselves as ‘Christian’ and, to a lesser extent, ‘writer’. To have our identities thus undermined can make our words seem like masks, pretenders to the throne of reality.
So let’s be real.
Let’s write what we feel. Any words – however dislocated and dull – will do. Let’s embrace honesty.
It may be the best thing we’ve ever written. It may be the worst. It doesn’t matter. This first draft of the heart may be ugly, but it’s only a first draft. It’s not the last word on who we are. Don’t bother counting your adverbs or censoring your anger. If it’s dross, perhaps it needs to come out – only then can we get to the good stuff.
It’s hard to express ourselves when wrapped in a blanket of unexpressed pain or confusion. We need to unravel.
Being a ‘writer’ may be important to us, but it is not the most important thing. It is identity in God that matters, whatever we write and however well we do it.
We pray with the Psalmist: Search me, O God, and know my heart (Psalm 139:23a, NIV). Despite our limited visual range, we cannot escape God’s presence. The God who sees in the blackest moments – to whom darkness is as light (v12) – remains with us in the unravelling. The rare God-glimpses we get are even more precious, because of the darkness. Let’s write about those, too.
Our words in the darkness can become the most powerful testimonies we have.
***
Lucy's first book, Forgetful Heart: remembering God in a distracted world, was published in 2014 by Darton, Longman and Todd (DLT). She's written articles, poetry and prayers for various publications and is an editor at magnet magazine. www.lucy-mills.com
- Memories of a (Washing) Machine (January 2016)
- The God of every place (December 2015)
- A way with words (November 2015)
- Know yourself (October 2015)
- When a writer walks down a wall (September 2015)
- The power of the backstory (August 2015)
- The long way round (July 2015)
- Taming the tentacles (June 2015)
- Tracing the journey (May 2015)
- Why a bit of polish matters (April 2015)
How true, Lucy. Writing is a cathartic occupation.
ReplyDeleteVery true. My first book was very cathartic indeed. I just poured out all the events surrounding being an evangelist who stopped believing in God. Writing it all down helped me make sense of it. I started with putting it all in blog and it ended up in a book. I think it is one of the things that helped me come back to faith again - It make me think about what I was going through more deeply.
ReplyDeleteThis is very thought-provoking, Lucy. I tend to think I'm quite good at talking to God about how I feel, but on paper my emotions are much more sanitised - even in my private journal. Maybe I need to be a bit braver!
ReplyDelete