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Have any of you seen the Inside Out sequel? One of the parts that made me laugh the most was when the character Nostalgia kept appearing. Riley, as a 12–13-year-old, is far too young to have that character, but for me, as a 52-year-old, she can certainly appear — and she has, in an unexpected way.

As I’ve often mentioned here, I’m a member of an online writers’ group called Alpha Writers, and our latest challenge was to write a villanelle — a poem with a repeating refrain. Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas was the example we were given.

So where does nostalgia come in? Well, that was the theme of the challenge. I struggled with this for a bit, but then I was asked a question recently: if I could go back in time, would I want to return to a place, an object, or a person? I initially decided on a place — my old boarding school.

I went to boarding school from the age of eight, and I loved it. It was the perfect escape from my abusive childhood, and there was one teacher there who was like an angel in human form — Miss Jenny Culverwell. One of the kindest things she did for me was treat me to a day out shortly before I went in for a rhinoplasty operation. She knew I loved reading, so she let me choose a book she would buy for me. The book I chose was Chasms of Malice, my first Fighting Fantasy book.

For those of you who were children of the eighties, you may remember them: 'If you want to go left, turn to page 192. If you want to go right, turn to page 267.' Remember them now? Those books were the perfect form of escapism for me, and I loved them. I can’t remember how many times I died, but the good thing was that all you had to do was rub out the score sheet and start again — and that’s what I chose as one of the recurring lines in my villanelle.

I asked the wonderful poet and storyteller Amy Robinson for a bit of help with this, and she was a real star, even giving me a template. Now I’ve just got to hope it meets with my fellow writers’ approval — and the criteria of the challenge.

 This is the piece the challenge led me to - 

Rubbing out the score sheet and starting again

 

Rubbing out the score sheet and starting again,

rolling dice and battling monsters.

Which page, which door?

Page sixty-six: I live to battle again.

Page one hundred and six: I perish in the bog of despair.

Rubbing out the score sheet and starting again.

Explaining unexplainable bruises,

rising to face another day.

Which page, which door?

Rolling the dice, hoping, praying, desperate for a six,

as if chance could reach beyond the book.

Rubbing out the score sheet and starting again.

Chasms of Malice, my first Fighting Fantasy,

a gift before the hospital, before the pain.

Which page, which door?

Miss Culverwell understood.

The pencil, the rubber, my weapons of choice.

Rubbing out the score sheet and starting again,

which page, which door?

If you also played and enjoyed those books as a child, I hope this post has brought back happy memories.

I’d love to hear in the comments or on Facebook if you’ve written any villanelles, or if there’s an object that always gives you a strong pull of nostalgia.

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Martin is a writer, baker, photographer and storyteller. He's been published in the ACW Christmas anthology and Lent devotional.