Writing when life is confusing, by Joan of Green Pastures Christian Writers

The 17th of the month features members of this ACW-affiliated writing group. Today, we welcome Joan as our guest blogger.

I like to knit and my current project is an angel with a complicated repeat pattern of four rows. To add to the mix it uses fine crochet thread and very fine needles. It took until the fourth repeat for me to see where the design was going. It was so confusing!

How quickly life can change for us sometimes. Ten years ago, when my husband and I moved from Yorkshire to East Anglia, we were fit, capable grandparents of twins, loving family life. The last two years have been very different. My husband's rapidly deteriorating health, requiring chemotherapy, and his gradually progressing dementia have changed everything. Becoming a 24/7 carer has been the most challenging experience of my life. How do I find the time to write? Even a journal?

When I felt at my lowest, nothing seemed to make sense and my constant prayer to God for 'help' seemed to go nowhere. But, looking back, I can see how He has made our paths straight. I was inspired to 'age-proof' the house. I have learned not to resent lovely things my family and friends are doing but to enjoy the blessings God is giving them and appreciate the joys and blessings I have in their love and friendship. I have learned that I don't need to do everything myself (that’s a hard one for me) and allow others to assist (Galatians 6:1).

It is just like my angel knitting pattern. As I get further on in this journey it's becoming increasingly obvious that God is in the design. He is with us and will help me to fulfil any calling He has on my life. This blog is the first thing I have written in some time but, like my angel project, I will see both my project and my life and calling to completion. I must continue to follow the 'pattern' (God's word) no matter how confusing and frustrating it sometimes appears and trust His (not-always-obvious-but-nevertheless-happening) guidance to know that He will see me through.

Once again I feel the inspiration to write.

It’ll probably be just my journal to begin with.

But it’s a start.